Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

It
ia
Correct your spelling
is
a fact that private
healthcare
is ubiquitous worldwide.
Although
health
facilities
are a vital need for individuals, private organizations charge high
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
for common people. I believe the benefits of
this
proposition are more than the drawbacks for valid reasons.
To begin
with, one significant merit
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
private
hospitals
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
giving costly
treatment
is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the shorter waiting time.
For example
,
canadian
Change the capitalization
Canadian
show examples
government
hospitals
arrange an appointment after three or four months for any
healthcare
conditions,
while
walk-in
clincs
Correct your spelling
clinics
schedule an appointment for
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
next day.
This
is because private companies request a high payment from patients,
this
money
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
to expand their
facilities
by hiring more
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
and occupying more space for a clinic, which leads to less waiting time.
Furthermore
, people have a greater choice in private clinics, as they
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
freeome
Correct your spelling
free
to choose their
healthcare
providers including specialists because of the
high cost
Add a hyphen
high-cost
show examples
treatment
Change preposition
of treatment
show examples
.
While
it cannot be denied that
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
treatment
protocole
Correct your spelling
protocol
is a significant drawback of private health industries.
This
can be
ealily
Correct your spelling
easily
avoided by consulting more than one
healthcare
professionals
Fix the agreement mistake
professional
show examples
and
Add an article
the patient
a patient
show examples
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
can
also
research
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their problems on the
highly
Change the adverb
high
show examples
source internet.
Moreover
, independent
facilities
often offer advanced medical
treatment
and technologies which is not available in publicly owned
hospitals
.
For instance
, physiotherapy clinics in Canada provide advanced pain relief modalities,
while
government
hospitals
only have basic
treatment
protocols. The reason for
this
is that private clinics charge more money for the
treatment
as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
to public
facilities
which give free
treatment
. In conclusion,
while
non-public
hospitals
create over
treatment
methods, I firmly believe that these places give shorter wait
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
, provide better quality of care and
also
show multiple options to choose our
treatment
plans.
Submitted by parmarheena277254 on

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grammar
Improve grammar and spelling by carefully proofreading your work. For example, 'healthcare' should be one word, 'clincs' should be 'clinics,' and 'freome' should be 'freedom.'
examples
Focus on providing clearer and more specific examples. For example, instead of saying 'government hospitals arrange an appointment after three or four months,' you could specify the type of treatment this applies to.
cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to improve overall coherence. For instance, you could use transitional phrases like 'also,' 'in addition,' or 'moreover' to connect your points seamlessly.
structure
You have presented a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This demonstrates a good understanding of essay structure.
examples
Your main points are relevant and supported by examples, which shows a good grasp of the topic.
cohesion
You maintained a clear and consistent argument throughout the essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cutting-edge technology
  • highly skilled professionals
  • patient experience
  • outcomes
  • personalized care
  • healthcare practitioners
  • competition
  • standards
  • government burden
  • public funds
  • prohibitively expensive
  • disparities
  • profitability
  • over-treatment
  • neglect
  • non-profitable cases
  • ethical concerns
  • financial status
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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