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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table chart below shows the results of a asurvey about people's coffee tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table chart below shows the results of a asurvey about people's coffee tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar charts illustrate the information of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea drinking habits of
people
Use synonyms
 living in five different
cities
Use synonyms
 in Australia in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
people
Use synonyms
 who went to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea had the largest number across five
cities
Use synonyms
, followed by those who brought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 and fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
, respectively.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who went to cafes for their drinks showed the highest proportion in Melbourne with 63% and Hobart with 32%. Followed by just above 60% in Sydney and approximately 55% in Brisbane.
While
Linking Words
 Adelaide was in the lowest place. Meanwhile, most
people
Use synonyms
 tend to buy
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 in Hobart at nearly 55% and Brisbane
Change preposition
at
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53%, the proportions of
instant
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coffee
Use synonyms
 buyers in the remained
cities
Use synonyms
 varied between 45% to 50%. In comparison, fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 buyers are located mainly in Sydney at 44% followed by 43% in Melbourne and 36% in Hobart,
whereas
Linking Words
 Brisbane and Adelaide remained the lowest at just below 35%. In conclusion, the majority of citizens preferred to drink
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea at a cafe,
while
Linking Words
 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was less popular compared to
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 in all
cities
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, people, cities, instant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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