The most essential component of a person’s life is his or her time at the workplace, and life turns meaningless once no job satisfaction is obtained. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
argue the most essential thing
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
an individual's
life
is his or her time in the
workplace
, and
life
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
meaningless if
job
satisfaction
is not achieved. I completely agree with
this
viewpoint because
job
satisfaction
is one of the main goals that should be fulfilled and a
person
's wellbeing depends on
this
.
Job
satisfaction
should be fulfilled because
people
do not
work
only for money. If someone is not satisfied with his
job
, he will not get any interest
to go
Change preposition
in going
show examples
to his
workplace
. There are numerous things
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
associated with
job
satisfaction
,
such
as a
freindly
Correct your spelling
friendly
working environment, professional achievement, and safety in the
workplace
. All these should be achieved to make an employee satisfied with his
job
.
For example
, in the USA,
people
generally apply for those jobs which provide them not only a good salary
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
proper
job
satisfaction
.
Moreover
, an employee's mental and physical
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
his
job
satisfaction
. Those employees who are not satisfied with their jobs, cannot enjoy their lives properly. All
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
they are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stress
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
about their performance level, toxic
work
environment, and unwelcoming
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
show examples
and colleagues.
Life
does not have any meaning to them because they cannot enjoy their
work
, and they only
work
for survival.
This
affects their mental and physical
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
,
consequently
, they sustain several complications in their body.
For instance
,
people
in India, suffer from heart problems and anxiety issues only because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
workplace
stress. In conclusion,
job
satisfaction
provides a
person
with a happy and satisfied
life
. A
person
's
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
is
also
associated with it,
therefore
,
job
satisfaction
of a
person
is very important.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure all sentences are free of minor errors. Proofreading before submission can help catch these mistakes.
coherence cohesion
Expand on the topic sentences and make them clearer for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to link ideas smoothly with clear transitions between paragraphs and sentences.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Avoid making very broad statements without supporting arguments or examples.
task achievement
Ensure your arguments align perfectly with the essay question and provide adequate depth to each point.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which encapsulates the main idea of the essay well.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally well supported, and ideas are clearly communicated.
task achievement
The essay responds effectively to the prompt, addressing all aspects of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential
  • component
  • workplace
  • job satisfaction
  • meaningless
  • extent
  • agree
  • disagree
  • significant
  • crucial
  • purposeless
  • factors
  • contribute
  • balancing
  • personal life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: