IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the population size, birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#line #population #size #birth #rate #death #england #wales #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The provided line graph illustrates the proportion of
population
Add an article
the population
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,
number
 of people born and
number
 of people
die
Correct pronoun usage
who die
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 in million in England and
Walves
Correct your spelling
Wales
 between 1700 and 2000.
To begin
 with, In 1700 the
residents
Change to a genitive case
resident's
residents'
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number
 was
alomst
Correct your spelling
almost
 2
millions
Change to singular
million
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, after 5 years the
number
 increased and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
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10
millions
Change to singular
million
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. After a decade the population
number
almost come
Verb problem
is
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 close to again 2
millions
Change to singular
million
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.
Moreover
, after 1800 the
number
 of people in England and
Walves
Correct your spelling
Wales
rosed
Correct your spelling
rose
show examples
 significantly and hit its peak
number
 50
millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2000. Meanwhile, the birth
rate
 was 30
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1700 and it reflects little
increased
Replace the word
increase
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 in 1750 by 10
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and it was steady through 1750 and 1800. After 1800 it
starts
Wrong verb form
started
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 declining and
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
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 22
millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 1950. By 2000 the birth
rate
number
 higher than its initial
number
.
Similarly
, the death
rate
 was 26
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1700 and after 1700 it increased by almost 10 million and it was stable
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 1800. After 1800 the
number
showing
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
downward
Add an article
a downward
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 trend and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
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20
millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2000.
Overall
, the population growth shows a drastic upward trend
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
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 the period.
However
, the birth
rate
 and death
rate
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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parlle
Correct your spelling
parallel
 to each other
expect
Correct your spelling
except
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 from
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 1 decade
Submitted by taniamall786 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, millions, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuations
  • stabilize
  • steep
  • advancements
  • notable
  • shift
  • norms
  • impact
  • critical factor
  • relatively stable
  • Industrial Revolution
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