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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the population size, birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the population size, birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #population #size #birth #rate #death #england #wales #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The provided line graph illustrates the proportion of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
,
number
Use synonyms
 of people born and
number
Use synonyms
 of people
die
Correct pronoun usage
who die
show examples
 in million in England and
Walves
Correct your spelling
Wales
 between 1700 and 2000.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, In 1700 the
residents
Change to a genitive case
resident's
residents'
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 was
alomst
Correct your spelling
almost
 2
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, after 5 years the
number
Use synonyms
 increased and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. After a decade the population
number
Use synonyms
almost come
Verb problem
is
show examples
 close to again 2
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, after 1800 the
number
Use synonyms
 of people in England and
Walves
Correct your spelling
Wales
rosed
Correct your spelling
rose
show examples
 significantly and hit its peak
number
Use synonyms
 50
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2000. Meanwhile, the birth
rate
Use synonyms
 was 30
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1700 and it reflects little
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in 1750 by 10
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and it was steady through 1750 and 1800. After 1800 it
starts
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 declining and
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 22
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1950. By 2000 the birth
rate
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
 higher than its initial
number
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the death
rate
Use synonyms
 was 26
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1700 and after 1700 it increased by almost 10 million and it was stable
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 1800. After 1800 the
number
Use synonyms
showing
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
downward
Add an article
a downward
show examples
 trend and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the population growth shows a drastic upward trend
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
 the period.
However
Linking Words
, the birth
rate
Use synonyms
 and death
rate
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
parlle
Correct your spelling
parallel
 to each other
expect
Correct your spelling
except
show examples
 from
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 1 decade
Submitted by taniamall786 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, millions, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuations
  • stabilize
  • steep
  • advancements
  • notable
  • shift
  • norms
  • impact
  • critical factor
  • relatively stable
  • Industrial Revolution
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