People are working for long hours than before, this leads to a stressful life ahead. what are the reasons for it? what employers can do to handle the situation?
These days,
people
are working for long
Correct word choice
longer
hours
than the
past, and Change preposition
in the
this
causes a stressful life. The main reasons behind this
are people
want to earn more,
and compromise their comfort and well-being. To tackle Remove the comma
apply
this
situation, employers
should monitor that employees
should not work
after working hours
and they should also
take care of the well-being of employees
.
People
prefer to work
as much as they can to earn a lot of money. They do not bother to work
some extra hours
to earn some extra money. They want to work
beyond their capabilities,
and want to earn beyond their necessities which brings stress in their lives. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, to earn more, people
sacrifice their comfort and well-being. When a person works for long hours
, it affects his physical and mental well-being. He does not have time to do his self-care or have proper sleep which lead
to stress. Change the verb form
leads
For example
, those people
who works
in the healthcare Change the verb form
work
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
work
overtime to earn extra salary, therefore
, they cannot get enough time to sleep.
Employers
should monitor how many hours
an employee is working. If someone wants to work
extra which is beyond his capacity, it should not be approved by the employers
. There should be a fixed working
Correct the article-noun agreement
a fixed working hour
fixed working hours
hours
for each organization, which can prevent employees
working
long Change preposition
from working
hours
. Furthermore
, employers
should look after the well-being of the employees
. When someone feels unwell because of working long hours
, his manager should advise him not to work
much. For instance
, employers
of Google, do not let their workers working
after 5 pm, because employee performance and employee well-being both are important Wrong verb form
work
for
them.
Change preposition
to
To conclude
, people
want to work
extra to earn extra and ignore their comfort, which cause
stress in their lives. Change the verb form
causes
Employers
should look after the well-being and working hours
of employees
.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. This will enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present and clear, consider making the conclusion a bit more comprehensive by summarizing the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
To further support the main points, provide more specific examples and elaborate on them. This will strengthen the arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
You provided a clear and relevant response to the task, addressing both the reasons for working long hours and what employers can do to mitigate this.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
The ideas presented are comprehensive and relevant to the topic. You have successfully addressed both parts of the question.