People are working for long hours than before, this leads to a stressful life ahead. what are the reasons for it? what employers can do to handle the situation?

These days,
people
are working for
long
Correct word choice
longer
show examples
hours
than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
past, and
this
causes a stressful life. The main reasons behind
this
are
people
want to earn more
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and compromise their comfort and well-being. To tackle
this
situation,
employers
should monitor that
employees
should not
work
after working
hours
and they should
also
take care of the well-being of
employees
.
People
prefer to
work
as much as they can to earn a lot of money. They do not bother to
work
some extra
hours
to earn some extra money. They want to
work
beyond their capabilities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and want to earn beyond their necessities which brings stress in their lives.
Moreover
, to earn more,
people
sacrifice their comfort and well-being. When a person works for long
hours
, it affects his physical and mental well-being. He does not have time to do his self-care or have proper sleep which
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
to stress.
For example
, those
people
who
works
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work
show examples
in the healthcare
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
work
overtime to earn extra salary,
therefore
, they cannot get enough time to sleep.
Employers
should monitor how many
hours
an employee is working. If someone wants to
work
extra which is beyond his capacity, it should not be approved by the
employers
. There should be
a fixed working
Correct the article-noun agreement
a fixed working hour
fixed working hours
show examples
hours
for each organization, which can prevent
employees
working
Change preposition
from working
show examples
long
hours
.
Furthermore
,
employers
should look after the well-being of the
employees
. When someone feels unwell because of working long
hours
, his manager should advise him not to
work
much.
For instance
,
employers
of Google, do not let their workers
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
after 5 pm, because employee performance and employee well-being both are important
for
Change preposition
to
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them.
To conclude
,
people
want to
work
extra to earn extra and ignore their comfort, which
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
stress in their lives.
Employers
should look after the well-being and working
hours
of
employees
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. This will enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present and clear, consider making the conclusion a bit more comprehensive by summarizing the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
To further support the main points, provide more specific examples and elaborate on them. This will strengthen the arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
You provided a clear and relevant response to the task, addressing both the reasons for working long hours and what employers can do to mitigate this.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
The ideas presented are comprehensive and relevant to the topic. You have successfully addressed both parts of the question.
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