The chart below shows the amount of time that 10 to 15-year-olds spend chatting on the internet and playing on games consoles on an average school day in UK.

The chart below shows the amount of time that 10 to 15-year-olds spend chatting on the internet and playing on games consoles on an average school day in UK.
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The
chart
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provides details about the average amount
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time
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of time
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British teens spend chatting and playing
games
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on a workday. A close look at the
chart
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reveals that
boys
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spend slightly less
time
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chatting on the internet with about only 30 per cent of them spending more than an hour daily chatting and an
overall
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of about 55 per cent of them chatting on a daily basis.
Girls
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,
on the other hand
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, enjoy chatting daily more with about 40 of them out of a 100 that spend more than an hour chatting. When it comes to playing console
games
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, the
chart
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illustrates a great gap between
boys
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and
girls
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with
boys
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having the lead. Close to 9 out
10
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of 10
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,
boys
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play video
games
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on school days, a number which differs greatly
to
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from
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that of the
girls
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with only bearly more
Linking Words
then
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than
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half of them playing. The distinction does not end there for the
chart
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shows, on average, not only more
boys
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spend
time
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playing, but they spend more
time
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doing so.
Games
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take up more than an hour in more than two-thirds of
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boys
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boys'
boy's
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lives.
Girls
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,
however
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, spend much less
time
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playing. In general, about 70 per cent of UK teens play
games
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on school days.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, time, games, boys, girls with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adolescents
  • chatting online
  • games consoles
  • average school day
  • time allocation
  • social interaction
  • gaming habits
  • internet usage
  • preference
  • daily patterns
  • peak times
  • weekdays
  • weekends
  • gender differences
  • trends
  • implications
  • social skills
  • physical health
  • academic performance
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