In mordern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. 1. Why has this change occured? 2. Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?
In modern ages,
offsprings
are spending most of their Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
time
with their friends
rather than their own nuclear families. I firlmy
believe that Correct your spelling
firmly
the
working Correct article usage
apply
parents
are the reason behind this
dramatic change. Additionally
, elders are responsible for spending their time
at home from their children
early years Change noun form
children's
instead
of forcing them in their adult duration. I will support my opinion with arguments in the essay below.
We live in an age where both the mom and dad work in their offices to provide their childrens
with better resources and superior lifestyle. Correct your spelling
children
For instance
, its
a moral thing, but guardians need to understand that the toddlers Replace the word
it's
it is
are depending
on them. Wrong verb form
depend
For example
, nowadays childrens
mostly spend their early childhood in daycare, caring centres etc. Correct your spelling
children
Furthermore
, its
a place where they Replace the word
it's
it is
made
new Wrong verb form
make
friends
, interact with various kinds of peers and spending
most of their Wrong verb form
spend
time
with them by playing and doing activities. Moreover
, this
habit continues when they reach to
school, college level where they Change preposition
apply
spent
not Wrong verb form
spend
even
Rephrase
only
whole
day but Correct article usage
the whole
also
the nights with their friends
doing sleepovers etc, because they find their friends
more cooperative, a better listener and the
emotional connectivity which they Add a missing verb
have the
did
not feel from their Wrong verb form
do
parents
.
From my perspective, parents
should not pressurized
their infants to spend Change the verb form
pressurize
time
with them. Instead
, they should gave
them enough Change the verb form
give
time
since their early ages. For example
, moms should be housewives, so that the childrens
can spend Correct your spelling
children
lovely
Correct article usage
a lovely
time
with their mother and she aware them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
about
the duties of Change preposition
of
father
. Add an article
a father
the father
Additionally
, the sense of connection gave clarification to offsprings
that Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
the
families are more important than their Correct article usage
apply
friends
.
In conclusion, childrens
build emotional Correct your spelling
children
connection
with their Fix the agreement mistake
connections
friends
rather than with their parents
, which are
the cause of distance in Correct subject-verb agreement
is
child-parent
relationship. Add an article
the child-parent
On the other hand
, mothers should play the role of housewives and full mother
, Fix the agreement mistake
mothers
while
father
should do outside duties, Fix the agreement mistake
fathers
hence
, the relationship with children will be balanced and then
their
is no need to force them to spend Replace the word
there
time
together.Submitted by kirivlogs0 on
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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar. For example, 'offsprings' should be 'children' and 'firlmy' should be 'firmly'.
structure
Ensure you develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details. This reinforces the main argument and enhances readability.
vocabulary
Avoid using repetitive phrases and make a conscious effort to use varied vocabulary and sentence structure.
task response
You have addressed both parts of the task by discussing the reasons for the change and providing your opinion on whether parents should force their children to spend more time at home.
structure
Your essay has an introduction and conclusion which is important for maintaining a logical structure.