Some people believe university education aims to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society

First of all, the citizens

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

thought that the higher

education

organization

Change noun form

organization's

show examples

teaching goals

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

helping students to have a great career.

However

,there are some citizens

trust

Correct pronoun usage

who trust

show examples

that the higher

education

advantage personal and society.I am going to share my points about

those topic

Change the determiner

that topic

those topics

show examples

. Overview,there are many students

enter to

Wrong verb form

entering

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

higher

education

organization

Fix the agreement mistake

organizations

show examples

in Hong Kong.None of doubt,some students have entered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a great company after graduation. I am one of the

student

Change to a plural noun

students

show examples

studying early childhood

educaton

Correct your spelling

education

programme

eduhk

Change the capitalization

Eduhk

show examples

However

, I

raccon

Correct your spelling

think

that

we study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

higher

education

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

myraids of

adavantages

Correct your spelling

advantages

besides

only

aim

Replace the word

aiming

show examples

for a great job.

For instance

,I have

learn

Change the verb form

learned

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

special

education

needs knowledge

that is

common in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.I thought that learning

this

programme

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

help my personal growth and broaden my

horisons

Correct your spelling

horizons

.I become a very patient and careful person.The

encourage

Wrong verb form

encouraged

show examples

teaching ways

also

enhance

Wrong verb form

enhanced

show examples

my self-esteem .

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

study

Wrong verb form

am studying

show examples

this

programme

not only

aim

Verb problem

apply

show examples

for

the

Change the word

show examples

career.I always volunteer in the

specials

Fix the agreement mistake

special

show examples

needs school in my leisure time.In my opinion,it is meaningful for us to help the

kids

Change noun form

kid's

kids'

show examples

development in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

childhood

besides

enter

Wrong verb form

entering

show examples

a good jobs

Correct the article-noun agreement

a good job

good jobs

show examples

.As I am studying

early

Correct article usage

an early

show examples

childhood

education

programme

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

have to design my activity for teaching the kids in kindergarten.It

also

helps me to become a

responsibility

Replace the word

responsible

show examples

person.I vividly remember our lecturers

told

Wrong verb form

telling

show examples

this

programme

can help us to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

however

,it

also

enhance

Change the verb form

enhances

show examples

our knowledge to

prepared

Wrong verb form

prepare

show examples

for

Correct pronoun usage

us for

show examples

being parents or caregivers. In conclusion,It has a lot of benefits for personal and society

besides

for only our career paths.The professional skills help us to become a great person.

Submitted by asllchkied on Fri Sep 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more clearly. Start with an introduction that outlines both views, follow with separate paragraphs for each view, and conclude by giving your opinion based on the points discussed.

coherence cohesion

Your essay would benefit from a more clearly defined introduction and conclusion. Make sure to state the main points you will discuss in your introduction and summarize them in your conclusion.

task achievement

Provide more supporting points or examples for each of the views discussed. This will strengthen your arguments and give a comprehensive perspective on the topic.

task achievement

Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving overall sentence structure. This will make your essay easier to read and understand.

task achievement

You have addressed both views mentioned in the prompt, which is essential for task achievement.

task achievement

Including personal experiences and specific examples makes your essay more engaging and relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe university education aims to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.’ How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

The illustration below shows the process of tying a bow tie. Write a report explaining to a university lecturer how to tie his bow tie.

Some schools are strict about having a school uniform for their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed or no dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a school uniform for children?