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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below gives information about the average annual pay of doctors and other workers in seven different countries in 2004.

The chart below gives information about the average annual pay of doctors and other workers in seven different countries in 2004.
The chart compares how much the average annual salary of
doctors
Use synonyms
 and other employees in seven different countries
2004
Change preposition
in 2004
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Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the amount of money paid for hospital workers in France is exactly 80, other
workers
Punctuation problem
workers,
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 about 25. Regarding
this
Linking Words
, there was a common tendency that the paid of
doctors
Use synonyms
 were significantly higher than the salaries of other workers in 5 nations. As the graph shows, annual pay for
doctors
Use synonyms
 in the Czech Republic is about 40, and for other industry owners
around
Punctuation problem
, around
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 15.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the government gives money for
doctors
Use synonyms
 ' jobs in Finland around 55 twice a bigger as
other
Change preposition
for other
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 kinds of jobs.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, Italy and Germany substantially had the same doctor's salary , with 60. In terms of
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the most expensive, the US
doctors
Use synonyms
' salary is approximately 120, other
crowds
Check wording
countries
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the money paid for
doctors
Use synonyms
 in Switzerland is three times more than in other
bands
Check wording
countries
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words doctors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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