IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The given diagram illustrates the proportion of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.

The given diagram illustrates the proportion of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.
The given diagram illustrates the proportion of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. In general,we can see that in 1980 and in 2010,the
most
Correct word choice
highest
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 percentage of visitors were the
pavilion
Use synonyms
 and the festival. As is presented in the diagram,
during
Change preposition
between
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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1985 and 1995 there was a sharp increase in visitors to the
pavilion
Use synonyms
 from 28% to 48%,but in 2010 there was a gradual decrease to 31%.In 1980 the least popular attraction was the pier but in 2010
this
Linking Words
 changed and the art gallery became the least popular. Now turning to the details,a downward
tend
Correct your spelling
trend
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 was in the number of tourists who visited
festival
Correct article usage
the festival
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 from 1980 to 2010,but we can not say
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 about art
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
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,because from 1985 to 1990 the percentage of tourists declined dramatically,not gradually,from 38% to 20%. The
tend
Correct your spelling
trend
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 for the
pavilion
Use synonyms
 was similar to the
pavilion
Use synonyms
.
First
Add a comma
First,
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 the number of visitors climbed sharply from 25% to 58%,but
then
Linking Words
 the
Correct your spelling
percentage
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 declined significantly from 58% to 35%

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pavilion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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