Some people think that parents should deal with their children's poor behaviour, while others believe it is the government's responsibility to regulate it. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences.

#people #parents #children #behaviour #government #responsibility #experiences

It is believed by individuals that parents should negotiate with their

children

's bad behaviour.

However

others

assume that improving kids' ethics is the

government

's priority. Both perspectives are significant and in

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will discuss them. On the one hand, more people suppose that both fathers and mothers should look after their

children

's attitude. In fact, it is essential for parents to improve their

children

's moral

aspect

Fix the agreement mistake

aspects

show examples

In addition

, if

children

talked in a

respect

Replace the word

respectful

show examples

way, they would gain

others

' respect.

For instance

, in my local community, there is a respectful child, so he was appreciated.

Therefore

, the more you respect

others

, the more they specialize

you

Change preposition

in you

show examples

On the other hand

, many individuals indicate that

children

's poor behaviour has been

associating

Wrong verb form

associated

show examples

with the

government

, so they ought to find a suitable solution for

this

issue. It can be shown that

this

difficulty is widespread

due to

several arguments. One of them is the reputation of the country,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

might be damaged by those

children

Furthermore

, nowadays, the

government

should be proud of young people

Change preposition

for

show examples

their achievements,

thus

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenagers should be respectful. Eventually, the

government

must focus on fixing

this

negative side. In conclusion, more and more people ought to notice their son's and daughter's actions.

While

others

assume

this

social drawback is the

government

's importance. In my point of view, I believe that

this

negative statement is a priority for both the parents and the governments, and they have to work together to solve

this

moral dilemma.

Submitted by moha.aleid2017 on Fri Sep 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve the logical structure, organize your arguments more clearly, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Use clearer transitions between points and paragraphs to improve the flow and cohesion of your essay.

task achievement

To enhance task achievement, provide more detailed explanations and develop your ideas more fully.

task achievement

Try to include more specific and varied examples to better support your arguments and make them more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.

task achievement

You attempted to cover both viewpoints and provided some reasons and examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Describe the possible causes and give suggestion on how people should prepare for work in the future.

You had borrowed money from your friend when you were facing some financial problems and forgot to pay it back. Write a letter to your friend and in your letter: ● apologize for being late in returning the money ● explain what happened ● say how you are going to fix the issue now

nowadays a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their doctors.do think this is a positive or negative development?