Some people believe that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, think that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit

Nowadays, some people think that boys and

girls

should be educated in separate

schools

, and some of them believe the to generation

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

to study in mixed

schools

The both

Remove the article

Both

show examples

opinions support each other.

Also

, they are a bit of

benefits

Correct article usage

a benefits

show examples

side . On the one hand, when boys and

girls

attend separate

schools

, they will spend more time focusing on their

studies

This

is because there will not be any opposite gender to be attracted to and to get involved in any affairs. The schooling hours will be fully utilised to learn something rather than being diverted from

studies

and spending time with the ones they might have an affair within the

school

For example

, in Nepal, students from St. Mary’s

Girls

School

showed

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better academic performance than the

girls

who completed their

school

years at a co-educational institution.

However

, I believe that

children

attending mixed

school

will learn to be more social in the future.

On the other hand

, co-education is more beneficial for

children

because they will learn some social skills during their

school

years.

This

is to say that

children

of both genders will be allowed to have combined

studies

and will learn how to deal politely with a person of the opposite sex, an important skill which is highly accepted by society.

For example

, boys who finished their

studies

at co-educational

schools

showed more courtesy towards ladies by offering some help when required.

For

this

reason, it is better for

children

to attend mixed

schools

as it helps them to learn essential social skills. In conclusion, the two approaches to education have

importance

Replace the word

important

show examples

points.

However

, in my opinion

Add the comma(s)

show examples

application in combined

school

is more profitable for all students.

Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on Fri Sep 20 2024

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task response

Though your essay presents a discussion on both views and gives your opinion, the introduction is a bit unclear. Make sure it clearly introduces both viewpoints before discussing each. For instance, rephrase to: 'Some people believe that boys and girls should be educated in separate schools, while others argue that they benefit more from attending mixed schools. This essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my own opinion.'

task response

While your points are valid, expanding and explaining them more comprehensively would enhance the essay's clarity. For instance, explain more on how co-education helps foster social skills.

coherence

Make sure to use transition phrases to maintain smooth flow between ideas. Words like 'Firstly,' 'On the contrary,' and 'Additionally' can help. Ending your body paragraphs with concluding sentences that reinforce your main points can also improve cohesion.

coherence

Consider using diverse vocabulary and complex sentence structures to improve readability and sophistication. For example, instead of 'For example, boys who finished their studies at co-educational schools showed more courtesy towards ladies by offering some help when required,' try 'To illustrate, boys who graduated from co-educational institutions demonstrated greater courtesy towards women, such as offering assistance when needed.'

conclusion

Your conclusion is quite brief. Summarize the main points discussed and restate your opinion more clearly for a stronger impact.

task response

You have well-articulated ideas comparing both school systems, presenting a balanced perspective.

task response

You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, such as the reference to St. Mary's Girls School.

coherence

Your essay flows logically with clear paragraphing, and each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which enhances readability.

conclusion

You offered a clear preference in your opinion, making it evident. This is essential in opinion-based essays.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

co-education
gender segregation
peer pressure
academic performance
gender stereotypes
discrimination
social skills
teamwork
collaboration
diversity

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Some people believe that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, think that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Technologies like AI and Robotics are automating many human jobs and helping to maximize company profits. However, this may result in a new wave of mass unemployment and government should step in to regulate these fields. Discuss arguments for both sides and give your opinion.