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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate student who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate student who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #student #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The provided bar charts indicate the
number
 of
students
 who had bachelor's or master's degrees and did not tend to
work
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full-time after graduation in the United Kingdom in 2008. A glance at the graph reveals that the highest percentage of graduate or postgraduate learners chose to continue
further
 study in England.
However
,
students
 did not prefer to
work
voluntary
Change the adjective
voluntarily
show examples
 in the UK over the period. In 2008, exactly 29,665
students
 with a bachelor's degree decided to
follow
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
further
 study in England, (which was the highest
number
 of
students
 over the period) compared to the
number
 of graduated scholars who tended to
work
 in part-time jobs with 17,735 people in 2008.
Moreover
, doing
further
 study by
students
 with a master's degree was a bit as popular as working
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 in the UK in 2008 with 2,725 and 2,535, respectively.
In contrast
, Graduate
students
 did not prefer to
work
 in voluntary jobs with 3500
students
 in the UK in 2008. (Which was the least
number
 of graduate scholars over the whole year).
Similarly
, 345
students
 with a master's degree chose to do voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 in England in 2008. (Which was the lowest percentage of postgraduate learners who did not tend to
work
 full-time over the period).
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, students, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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