Some pepole say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and becom disciplined. Others argue that teenagers should not sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work . Discusee both views and give your opinion.

#pepole #teenagers #work #money #lessons #becom #sacrifice #rest #activities #discusee

Some people see that

teenagers

should find a

job

opportunity and gain financial returns after finishing school.

In addition

, they will acquire life

skills

and experiences. Others

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

think that they have free time in their lives to work in the future.

Therefore

, they should spend their free time with interesting activities with their friends. From my point of view, I see that students in advanced stages of their lives should get new

skills

and competencies through working.

Firstly

, there are a lot of graduates from universities who seek a

job

opportunity after finishing university

period

Additionally

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that it is mandatory for

teenagers

to find a

job

opportunity

besides

their studies which

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

them with needed

skills

in the work market

such

as life

skills

, time management, self-reliance, responsibility and teamwork.

Hence

, acquiring the mentioned

skills

and efficiencies

represnts

Correct your spelling

represents

represent

a credit for students and they will get a privilege between candidates

during

Change preposition

while

show examples

seeking a

job

On the other hand

, some people argue that

teenagers

should enjoy

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their lives during the study

period

through various activities.

Moreover

, parents should give a space for their children to

make

Verb problem

show examples

joyful activities

such

as going out with their friends, travelling to various countries, and sharing them with social events. So,

this

is the most effective and productive way to increase self-confidence and responsibility in

teenagers

' spirits which positively affects their studies grades.

To sum up

, some people argue that

teenagers

should work during

study

Add an article

the study

show examples

period

which provides them with hard

skills

such

as discipline, and working under pressure.

However

, others think that

teenagers

should spend adolescence

period

with delightful manners

such

as going out with their friends and travelling to several cities.

Submitted by asem.fraig on Fri Sep 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that your main points are supported with specific examples and details. This can make your argument more compelling and clear.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more logically. This can improve the flow of your essay and make it easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, which helps frame your essay effectively.

task achievement

You have articulated your main ideas quite clearly, making it easier for the reader to understand your stance.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Task 2: Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative impact on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the past, news about famous people may have been confined to gossip columns in newspapers; these days it is not uncommon for celebrities to feature as front page news. There is evidence that the public feels there is too much news coverage of famous people. Not surprisingly, there is concern about how this might be affecting people, and in particular children.
6.5
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving chilren this message?
‏Working is an It is an essential thing in our lives. It is certainly true that kids can achieve the best if they work hard. However, not all the effects of this innovation have been positive, although there are surely some advantages.
6.5
band
‏For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and math. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extend do you agree?
Nowadays using computer in recent times has increased. It is a highly debatable issue whether Students need computer skills to be added to their studies, or whether reading, writing and math are enough for them. I agree that computer skills are beneficial and have a good impact on learning. This essay will outline the importance of using computers.
7
band
Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?
Science plays a vital role in our daily life.Everything around us happening all day is because of science. From waking up in the morning to going to nap in the evening this field plays a major role in routine. At present situation, not enough candidates choose this subject in different regions because it's difficult to understand and lack of job opportunities for adults in future.
6.5
band
IELTS Task 2 Writing The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich are becoming richer and the poor are even getting poorer. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
In the present society being rich or poor tends to be a regular case. This affects all of us worldwide, since studies show the significant amount of problems, that humans have to face with the financial gap. In fact, in most cities this is considered to be a part of each day, but what can be done against this effect? This essay will elucidate my assertions in the forthcoming paragraphs.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Some pepole say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and becom disciplined. Others argue that teenagers should not sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work . Discusee both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Task 2: Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative impact on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving chilren this message?

‏For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and math. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extend do you agree?

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+