Some people think they have the right to use as much water as they want. Others, however, believe that the government should control the use of fresh water as it is a limited resource. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
As technology
development
, Replace the word
develops
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
water
resource
is more ample than before. The debate Fix the agreement mistake
resources
between
whether using Change preposition
about
water
should be controlled remain
perennial. Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
While
both views have reasons, i
find myself more aligned with the Change the capitalization
I
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
water
Correct pronoun usage
that need
need
to be controlled.
On the one hand, Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
water
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
is
sufficient for Wrong verb form
have been
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
in
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
recent
. Most of Change the word
recently
surface
on the terrestrial is ocean and river, Add an article
the surface
although
it is salty, water
disposal machines became
more diverse and practical. It is quite crucial for Wrong verb form
have become
the
sufficient pure Correct article usage
apply
water
, particularly in remote area
. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
For example
, these
approach allows some drought Correct determiner usage
this
country able
to have enough fresh Replace the word
countries
water
, Correct word choice
and dealing
dealing
with the Wrong verb form
deal
short
of drinking, washing and daily Replace the word
shortage
using
.
Replace the word
use
However
, i
would argue that Change the capitalization
I
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
water
resource
is fundamentally important as it drives human
and creatures Fix the agreement mistake
humans
survive
in the future. Despite Fix the infinitive
to survive
fresh
Correct article usage
the fresh
water
is
ample, it still has Wrong verb form
being
limit
. If people Fix the agreement mistake
limits
using
Wrong verb form
use
water
without control
, it will lead to environment
collapse. Replace the word
environmental
For instance
, wild animals live behind the river and creek, where it has abundant habitats and prey. If fresh water
used
without Add a missing verb
is used
control
, the animals will suffer from the short
of Replace the word
shortage
water
, which result
in Correct subject-verb agreement
results
biological
chain Correct article usage
the biological
broken
and bio-diversity Wrong verb form
breaking
disappeared
. Wrong verb form
disappearing
Consequently
, lacking fresh water
will lead to soil land sinking and natural damage, dramatically destroyed
urbanization and infrastructure structures. When the awareness of Wrong verb form
destroying
water
protection raised
, Add a missing verb
is raised
i
think it will be better for Change the capitalization
I
human
and nature Fix the agreement mistake
humans
survive
.
In conclusion, Fix the infinitive
to survive
although
using water
without control
is Add an article
a benefit
benefit
for society in a short time, Replace the word
beneficial
limit
Wrong verb form
limiting
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
water
resource
is indispensable for Fix the agreement mistake
resources
human
in the future. I firmly believe that Fix the agreement mistake
humans
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
water
use, making
it Wrong verb form
makes
essential
element for the balance of human and natureAdd an article
an essential
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task achievement
Strengthen your main points with more specific examples to better support your arguments. This will improve your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the clarity and accuracy of your grammatical structures. This will help convey your ideas more effectively and improve overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Although your introduction and conclusion are present, make sure that they are succinct and clearly outline the main arguments of your essay. This will enhance the logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and reasonably effective, which helps frame your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed both views in the topic and provided your own opinion, which is essential for fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The overall flow of the essay is logical and your paragraphs are well-organized, which aids in readability.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite