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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?

#world #employees #lack #skill #communication #teams #effects #skills
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In
this
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 modern workplace,
workers
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 do not have adequate social skills,
such
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 as
teamwork
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 and
communication
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.
This
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 challenge stems from the rapid
in
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apply
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technological advancement that encourages independent work and
this
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 factor results in miscommunication and a decline
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teamwork
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in teamwork
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 effectiveness.
This
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 essay will elaborate more on the causes of
this
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 challenge and
potential
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the potential
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 consequences if these soft skills are not addressed.
To begin
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 with, young generations tend to be more familiar with online
communication
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 rather than the traditional way of
communication
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. As many digital tools appear, younger people prefer to have their conversations online and reduce face-to-face interaction.
For example
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, after the
Covid-19
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COVID-19
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 outbreak
last
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 2020, many companies in Jakarta
apply
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applied
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 a work-from-everywhere (WFE) system for their employees which
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then
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means that
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 meeting through Zoom has been prevalent since
then
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. They claim that
this
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 new system is easier and more efficient.
Therefore
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, the
workers
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 rarely have in-person contact with other colleagues and it leads to anti-social
behavior
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behaviour
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. Owing to the phenomenon, miscommunication often happens because the message is not interpreted
right
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correctly
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. As the
communication
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 is not clearly conveyed, it is profound to lost in translations.
Furthermore
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, poor
communication
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 leads to inadequate skill of
teamwork
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. As the
workers
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 cannot deliver their intention well, they are not able to do tasks in a team as well.
For instance
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, studies showed that Z-generation
workers
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 in the WFE system find the direct presentation to the management difficult.
As a result
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, collaboration with other colleagues is another hurdle for them which leads to poor quality of work together. In conclusion, the lack of soft skills is driven by overemphasis on technology usage nowadays, especially for younger generations, and it has significant effects in terms of miscommunication and
teamwork
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 effectiveness if there is no
further
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 action taken by the companies.
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task response
While the essay effectively addresses the task prompt, there are minor grammatical and vocabulary issues that could be refined for clearer expression. For instance, 'As the communication is not clearly conveyed, it is profound to lost in translations' could be improved to 'When communication is not conveyed clearly, it is likely to be lost in translation.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the points being made. For example, the sentence 'Owing to the phenomenon, miscommunication often happens because the message is not interpreted right' can be rephrased to be more impactful.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides a relevant and specific example by discussing the impact of the Covid-19 pandemic on workplace communication.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the main points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Soft Skills: Attributes that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people.
  • Communication: The imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium.
  • Teamwork: The combined action of a group, especially when effective and efficient.
  • Remote Communication: Communication that occurs when parties are not physically present, often through digital means.
  • Overemphasis: Excessive emphasis on a particular aspect.
  • Individualistic Culture: A social theory favoring freedom of action for individuals over collective or state control.
  • Trickle-Down Effect: The cumulative effect that smaller or marginal changes can have when initiated at higher levels.
  • Competitive Work Environment: A work setting where employees are constantly striving against one another to achieve success.
  • Specialized Job Roles: Positions that require expertise in a narrow field or specific set of skills.
  • Face-to-Face Interactions: Direct, in-person communication between individuals.
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