There are movements all over the world to prohibit smoking from buildings such as restaurants, bars, clubs, offices and other indoor spaces. People argue secondhand smoke is dangerous and that such laws protect public health. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
#movements #world #buildings #restaurants #bars #clubs #offices #spaces #people #smoke #laws #health
One of
health
threats Add an article
the health
of
people around the world comes from Change preposition
to
poisonous
Correct article usage
the poisonous
smoke
of cigarrettes
. Around the world, Correct your spelling
cigarettes
this
awareness can be seen from many movements aiming to prohibit smoking in public premises in order to protect those who are considered second hand
Add a hyphen
second-hand
smokers
. Personally, this
measures Correct determiner usage
these
is
proper and appropriate when it comes to Change the verb form
are
protect
the individual's Change the verb form
protecting
right
and Fix the agreement mistake
rights
health
. The extent is to be elaborated in the following.
The smoke
from the cigarrettes
contains the same hazardous particles: nicotine and other dangerous substances. The Correct your spelling
cigarettes
toxics
of the Correct your spelling
toxins
smoke
damage the smoker's respiratory organs such
as lungs
, and these dangerous substances Correct article usage
the lungs
also
harm those who do not smoke
but breathe in the smoke
froating
in the air in Correct your spelling
floating
area
. Add an article
the area
This
is not fair for those non
Add a hyphen
non-smokers
smokers
as they have to breathe in the toxicated
air into their Correct your spelling
intoxicated
body
. Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
Therefore
, the law to prohibit smokesr
Correct your spelling
smokers
smoker
to
Change preposition
from smoking
smoke
inside the building is to reduce the risk for people who do not smoke
. Also
, this
is to show the respect individaul's
Correct your spelling
individual's
individuals
right
as the public building is shared.
However
, the
specific Correct article usage
a
area
should be provided for smokers
. The smoker has the right
to smoke
; if they are not allowed to smoke
inside the building, the
designated smoking zone or Correct article usage
a
area
must be provided. In other words
, the area
for smoke
needs to be outside the building and far away from the non
Add a hyphen
non-smokers
smokers
.
In conclusion, smoking harms and causes health
issues. It has been aware that smoke
from cigarrettes
can cause death and damage Correct your spelling
cigarettes
the
Correct article usage
apply
health
. The law to protect non
Add a hyphen
non-smokers
smokers
is to protect them from harms
of toxic Correct article usage
the harms
smoke
or reduce the increase in the number of smokers
. When there is the
law to ban Correct article usage
a
smokers
in pubilc
, the Correct your spelling
public
area
for smokers
is important to the right
of smokers
so that they can smoke
but not impact or disrupt other people in the same area
.Submitted by dondollaraus on
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General
Your essay does a good job of addressing the prompt and taking a clear stance on the topic. However, you need to double-check for grammar errors and awkward phrasing to elevate the quality of your writing.
task achievement
Expand on the examples to make your arguments stronger. For instance, you can include statistics or specific studies on the harmful effects of secondhand smoke.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and structure. Using a mix of simple and complex sentences will improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from clearer paragraphing. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and transitions smoothly into the next.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic and sets the stage for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
You have organized your ideas well, ensuring each main point is addressed in a separate paragraph.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?