IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some peple think that adverts control what we purchase, while others think they are useful sources of information of products. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 think advertisements influence what we choose to buy, but others think they have benefits, helping us to know the
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 better. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the negative impact adverts may
affect
Verb problem
have

There may be a verb use issue here.

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 the potential
customers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, I personally think they are useful and can be used
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 our
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit

It seems that benefits may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Commercials tend to pop up everywhere both physically and digitally. We can see them in print media, television, and online. Back in the
older
Correct word choice
old

There may be an adjective issue here.

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 days,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 even advertised through radio so
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
can
Wrong verb form
could

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb can. Consider changing it.

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 listen to it
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 doing their activities.
The interesting
Correct article usage
Interesting

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 adverts can influence the
customers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and make them think they need the
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, sometimes even beyond their budgets. Young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 are the groups of buyers easily affected by commercials. They are easily hooked and interested in the
product
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 once they see the adverts. With
an
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun access in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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access to money and the easiness of paying methods nowadays, these young
customers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 can over-purchase the
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, commercials offer details of the
product
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 so potential
buyer
Fix the agreement mistake
buyers

It seems that buyer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 can learn more about the
product
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 before deciding to buy it. Shoppers who take their time to read the advertisement and use it to compare
between
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 can gain a lot of
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits

The singular countable noun benefit follows the quantifier lot, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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. They can wisely decide which
product
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is suitable to their needs,
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 making advertisement a powerful tool
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 their disposal. In conclusion, advertisements can act as a beneficial tool
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 a trap for
customers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Potential buyer should be able to use it to their
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit

It seems that benefits may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 as long as they can think thoroughly before deciding and not practice impulse buying.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in the use of terms, such as sticking to either 'advertisements' or 'adverts' throughout the essay.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
supported main points
Expand on the supporting points with additional details to create more robust arguments.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the task with both sides of the argument discussed.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making the essay easy to follow.
clear comprehensive ideas
Key points are clear and align well with the topic, exhibiting a good understanding of the subject matter.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer purchasing decisions
  • persuasive techniques
  • emotional appeals
  • celebrity endorsements
  • eye-catching visuals
  • impulsive buying
  • prioritization of wants over needs
  • valuable information
  • innovations
  • special offers
  • informed purchasing decisions
  • marketing campaigns
  • raise awareness
  • niche products
  • lesser-known brands
  • consumer behavior
  • consumer education
  • critically assess
What to do next:
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