IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the percentages of male and female students getting top grades in 1960 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentages of male and female students getting top grades in 1960 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentages #students #grades #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar charts illustrate the data on the proportion of students, who were male and female in 5 subjects,
Science
Use synonyms
, Arts,
Maths
Use synonyms
,
Languages
Use synonyms
, and
Humanities
Use synonyms
, achieving top grades in 1960 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graphs is that there was an improvement for boys in Arts and
Humanities
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 girls achieved a top grade in
Science
Use synonyms
 over the years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the grades in
Languages
Use synonyms
 and
Maths
Use synonyms
 were stable for males and females, respectively. Looking at the details, for males, the percentage of high achievers in
Science
Use synonyms
 decreased from approximately 40% in 1960 to around 30% in 2000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, their performance in
Humanities
Use synonyms
 showed a significant rise from 20% to almost 50%. Males
also
Linking Words
 experienced an increase in
Maths
Use synonyms
, from roughly 20% in 1960 to about 30% in 2000, and Arts doubled in 2000 than in 1960 though the proportion of top grades in
Languages
Use synonyms
 remained stable at around 21%. Regarding females,
Humanities
Use synonyms
 saw a sharp decline, with nearly 30% earning top marks in 1960 compared to around 26% in 2000.
Similarly
Linking Words
, there was a drop in
languages
Use synonyms
, from around 45% to 30% in 2000 and experienced a notable fall, declining from 30% to about 25%. In
Science
Use synonyms
, female students' high achievement increased slightly by around 1%,
while
Linking Words
 their results in
Maths
Use synonyms
 remained almost unchanged across the two-year.
Submitted by jisan.path1506605 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words science, maths, languages, humanities with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentages
  • top grades
  • achievement
  • gender disparity
  • educational trends
  • academic performance
  • comparison
  • decade
  • educational policy
  • societal expectations
  • improvement
  • educational attainment
  • graduates
  • academic excellence
  • statistics
  • educational landscape
  • benchmark
  • parity
  • gender roles
  • historical data
  • performance indicators
  • educational improvements
  • longitudinal study
  • scholastic achievement
  • gender gap
What to do next:
Look at other essays: