IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse- gas emission which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The two pie charts compare the percentages of
energy
Use synonyms
 usage in various categories within an average Australian household and the corresponding greenhouse gas
emissions
Use synonyms
 resulting from
this
Linking Words
consumption
Use synonyms
. Over the whole time period, heating consumes the most
energy
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
 heating is responsible for the highest emission of greenhouse gases, indicating a discrepancy between
energy
Use synonyms
 use and environmental impact across the categories. Focusing on
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
, heating emerges as the primary
energy
Use synonyms
 user, accounting for 42% of total household
energy
Use synonyms
, illustrating its central role in domestic
energy
Use synonyms
 use.
Water
Use synonyms
 heating follows at 30%, underscoring its significant
energy
Use synonyms
 demand.
Conversely
Linking Words
, other appliances, refrigeration, and lighting have lower
energy
Use synonyms
 utilizations at 15%, 7%, and 4% respectively, with cooling using a minimal 2%.
This
Linking Words
 distribution suggests a prioritization of heating and
water
Use synonyms
 heating in
energy
Use synonyms
 allocation within homes.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the emission chart reveals a different pattern. Despite its high
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
,
water
Use synonyms
 heating leads to the largest share of
emissions
Use synonyms
 at 32%, suggesting that it is less
energy
Use synonyms
-efficient or relies on more carbon-intensive
energy
Use synonyms
 sources. Appliances are
also
Linking Words
 major contributors to
emissions
Use synonyms
, generating 28%, which is disproportionately high compared to their
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
. Interestingly, heating, which is the largest consumer of
energy
Use synonyms
, only accounts for 15% of the
emissions
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 indicates a more efficient or possibly cleaner
energy
Use synonyms
 usage. Refrigeration and lighting contribute to 14% and 8% of
emissions
Use synonyms
, respectively, with cooling again contributing the least at 3%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, emissions, consumption, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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