IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A large number of young people cannot find a job after leaving school. What problems will youth unemployment cause for individuals and the society? What measures should be taken to reduce the level of unemployment among young people?

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A
greate
Correct your spelling
great
greater
 number of graduates are facing difficulties in finding proper
job
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opportunities
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.
This
Linking Words
 situation can cause harm to both youngsters and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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 and various actions should be taken to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem. Youth unemployment has negative effects on
people
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 and
society
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. Difficulties in finding proper jobs related to the topics they have studied in school
,
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apply
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 will lead to both mental and financial
crisis
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crises
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 for our younger generation. They came a long way, studying hard and preparing themselves for their future career prospects and
this
Linking Words
 lack of
opportunities
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 for proving themselves can result in depression. They may feel all the effort they put
in
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into
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 studying was useless and they are unneeded.
At
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In
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 these circumstances, comparing themselves with others
whom
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who
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 are successful in their career can develop a feeling of unfulfillment and along
all
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with all
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 these negative feelings financial difficulties
is
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are
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 another burden.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these ambitious young
people
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 with a great amount of energy who could be a help to
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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 development now can cause harm to
society
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. Financial problems stack upon depression, can lead to bad decisions
such
Linking Words
 as stealing stuff out of need or anger towards
society
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. So, lack of
job
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opportunities
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 can harm individuals and those desperate
people
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 can have negative effects on
society
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. Several actions can be taken to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, companies should give younger
people
Use synonyms
 a chance to prove themselves.
For example
Linking Words
, I can remember my resume being disqualified because
my
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of my
show examples
 lack of empirical
experiences
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experience
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,
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apply
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 when I applied for jobs right after graduation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, big companies can offer various internship programs where
undergraduated
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undergraduate
undergraduates
 students can be trained there and gain some good work
experiences
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experience
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
supportings
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supporting
 and
economical
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economic
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 conditions after retirement should be well organized so
people
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 retire at the right age so there would be
opportunities
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 for younger
people
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. So, to tackle these problems, companies and government should prepare the
job
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 market and have faith in our young ones. In conclusion, the increasing rate of unemployment among young
people
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 can cause a
society
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 to
loose
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lose
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 its fresh and young energy
due to
Linking Words
 depression and financial crisis and
Linking Words
this serious problems
Change the determiner
this serious problem
these serious problems
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 should be solved by preparing the
job
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 market and trusting our younger
people
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.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or case studies to support your points. For example, mention specific programs or initiatives that have successfully reduced youth unemployment.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and free from errors. For example, 'whom are successful' should be 'who are successful'.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a good framework for the discussion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the causes and solutions for youth unemployment, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure throughout, with well-organized paragraphs and clear transitions between ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • underemployment
  • socioeconomic
  • livelihood
  • recession
  • job market
  • vocational training
  • skill mismatch
  • economic downturn
  • job creation
  • mentorship programmes
  • entrepreneurial initiatives
  • government subsidies
  • labour market policies
  • youth empowerment
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