Some people think the increasing use of technology in the workplace is good for young people's prospects of gaining a job and harder for old people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's fast-paced world, new
technology
can efficiently do a lot of things. While
some people
will use
technology
in the workplace
that
is good for young Correct pronoun usage
which
people
's prospects
of gaining a job
but harder for old people
, some people
argue that, and I apply
totally agree with that. Verb problem
apply
This
essay will discuss why I agree the increasing use
of technology
in the workplace
is good for young people
's prospects
of gaining a job
.
One reason to agree is that young people
, having grown up with modern technology
, are often more adept at using new tools and can more easily adapt to rapid technological changes in the workplace
. For example
, many software
and websites show up after the 2000s, also
that is
the time many young people
started to use
computers and other technology
. When young people
can more easily adapt to rapid technological changes in the workplace
, they can have more prospects
of gaining a job
. Therefore
, It is important that old people
need to get used to new tools.
Moreover
, many job
roles today require proficiency in specific software
and digital platforms which younger employees are more likely to be familiar with, thereby giving them an advantage. For instance
, many young people
start useing
office Correct your spelling
using
software
like: Word, PowerPoint and Excel when they are studying at university, and many course assignments need to use
those software
, after that
Correct pronoun usage
they
also
need to use
the same software
in the workplace
, and it is an advantage for young people
. As such
, young people
will have more time to adapt new
tools and modern Change preposition
to new
technology
, also
in college young people
can practice the skill of specific software
more than old people
.
In conclusion, young people
have more innate advantages than old people
, such
as regular training and growing up with modern technology
giving them a lot of advantages. Those reasons are why I agree the increasing use
of technology
in the workplace
is good for young people
's prospects
of gaining a job
. Ultimately, I think old people
can be more live and learn in order to decrease the advantage gap between old people
and young people
.Submitted by hibana2077 on
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language
Try to eliminate minor errors in grammar and word usage. For instance, instead of 'apply totally agree,' use 'completely agree.' This will make your essay more polished.
task response
Make sure to clearly articulate the opposing viewpoint as well. While you have focused on why you agree, briefly touching on the counterargument could make your essay more balanced and comprehensive.
coherence
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. For instance, sentences and paragraphs should transition smoothly from one to the next to improve coherence. Using transition words like 'Furthermore' and 'Additionally' can help improve the flow.
task response
Your essay clearly presents a standpoint and provides reasons for your agreement, which helps in supporting your main points well.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of a well-structured essay.
examples
Specific examples such as the use of Word, PowerPoint, and Excel among young people add strength to your arguments.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.