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Band 5.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?ء

#aim #science #people’s #lives
The most crucial purpose of science should be to make humankind's existence better and easier.
This
 essay agrees that improving people's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 has to be the main goal for scientists.
Firstly
, scientific experiments are paid from ordinary citizens' taxes,
secondly
, if we as mankind take care of our sanity and well-being,
then
 we will have
strength
Add an article
the strength
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 to help the world. Nowadays, taxes that citizens are paying are huge and obligatory, so I can't imagine spending the money in any other way than to elevate their daily existence. Not everyone is an engineer or a biologist, and
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 able to improve the building that are living in or find a remedy for the illness that are struggling with. We as a society believe in and support individuals with talents because we know they can change our existence for the better. Take a look at Japan, public universities are paid for by the government, same as the scientific experiments and now Japan is one of the most modern countries in the world. Japanese inhabitants lifes' are at a high level, because of all the new solutions like fast public transport, great health care, and other programmes. We have to remember that we are not alone on
this
 planet, we should live in harmony with nature and animals. But if we, as the inhabitants of the Earth, will be struggling
then
 no one will have the strength to do some extra work. Scandinavian countries are the best example of that. The level of life is high in Norway, Sweden, Finland, etc. so is the environment. Those lands have the cleanest air in Europe.
Also
,
wildlifelife
Correct your spelling
wildlife life
 is in great shape. In conclusion, the most important aim of science should be to
improves
Change the verb
improve
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 humankind's lives, and the reason for
this
 is taxes that every one of us is paying and to give humans power and good health so we can elevate the world.
Submitted by weronika07022 on

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task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task and have maintained relevance throughout the essay. However, try to ensure your introduction and conclusion are strongly linked to your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized and logically structured, but make sure each paragraph clearly supports the central argument and flows smoothly to the next point. Adding clear topic sentences can help improve coherence.
task achievement
You have utilized relevant, specific examples to support your main points, which enhances the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is good, with a clear attempt to introduce and develop your main ideas in a coherent manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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