IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The grapg shows the avarage spendings of the householdres from three incomes group

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The graph provides information on the average
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 of households in three categories of people divided by their
income
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
“Low”, “
Medium
Use synonyms
”, and “High”. The data clearly illustrate that the costs of housing are the highest for each
income
Use synonyms
 category. Eating out constitutes 4 per cent of spending in each group.
Similarly
Linking Words
, clothing and entertainment, despite a marginal supremacy of the high class
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 constant for all categories, at about 5 and 6 per cent, respectively.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, Education is 4% for both low and
medium
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 6 for high. The same pattern is visible in the case of housing, but on
much
Add an article
a much
show examples
 larger scale as it consumes 28% of all
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 in each group. Food at home, Utilities and Health are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
examples of things that
low
Correct word choice
the lower
show examples
 class pays the most. Eating at home
as well as
Linking Words
 Utilities constitutes 12% of their
income
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 for
medium
Use synonyms
 and high
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 only 7% and 5%. Health,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
 is 7% for
low
Add an article
the low
show examples
 group,
while
Linking Words
 6 for both
medium
Use synonyms
 and high.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there has been a huge difference in retirement savings as
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
high
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 category saves 17%,
while
Linking Words
medium
Use synonyms
 10%, and
low
Correct article usage
the low
show examples
 just 3%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, transport is the only
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
thing on which
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
 class pays the most – 19%,
while
Linking Words
 low 18 and high only 15%.

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task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the topic of the essay, but it would be beneficial to briefly summarize the main trends or results illustrated in the graph.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transitions between paragraphs and comparisons to create a smoother flow. Usage of linking words like 'however,' 'moreover,' and 'in addition' can enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Check for minor grammatical errors such as articles and verb agreement. For example, 'eating at home as well as utilities constitutes 12%,' should be 'constitute.'
coherence cohesion
Consider adding a concluding sentence or paragraph that summarizes your findings or restates the main trends observed. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a detailed analysis of the household spending for different income groups, with specific percentages used to support the points.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples from the graph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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