The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.

#bar #factories #ground #water #country #data #millions #meters

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This

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

bar chart illustrates the competition between seven types of factories which are utilized for ground or public water supply in a region.

Furthermore

this

chart shows the highest level of competition between the lowest

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

Overall

, there are seven categories which are fuel,foods,drinks,machinery,metal,

chemicals

,paper and textiles.

Also

, in

this

section

Add a comma

section,

show examples

we have the highest amount of

chemicals

when the machine is the lowest one.

Chemicals

have more measurement in the ground water classification than the other category with 430 cubic meters, but the lowest level in

this

type of system is machinery which was only 10 meters.

Also

, in public supply

systems

Add a comma

systems,

show examples

the most useful equipment is

chemicals

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

, but the unused things were

textile

Fix the agreement mistake

textiles

show examples

and fuel with 10 cubic meters.

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, other things like

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

,drinks,metal and paper were in the middle range in

this

case,

hence

, in

this

shown picture we can see the difference between

this

type of utilization on the ground and water

also

Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on Mon Sep 23 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words chemicals with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

157 words

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The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.

Young community are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others of the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Although there are number of gyms, people are leading a sedentary lifestyle. Discuss the problems associated with these issues and give the solutions for the same.

Serious violent crimes among people who are under-18 are becoming more common. Some people think that children who commit serious crimes should be treated like adults, while others would say that they should be rehabilitated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In today's world many people own a smartphone. do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?