The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.

#bar #factories #ground #water #country #data #millions #meters

This

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

bar chart illustrates the competition between seven types of factories which are utilized for ground or public water supply in a region.

Furthermore

this

chart shows the highest level of competition between the lowest

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

Overall

, there are seven categories which are fuel,foods,drinks,machinery,metal,

chemicals

,paper and textiles.

Also

, in

this

section

Add a comma

section,

show examples

we have the highest amount of

chemicals

when the machine is the lowest one.

Chemicals

have more measurement in the ground water classification than the other category with 430 cubic meters, but the lowest level in

this

type of system is machinery which was only 10 meters.

Also

, in public supply

systems

Add a comma

systems,

show examples

the most useful equipment is

chemicals

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

, but the unused things were

textile

Fix the agreement mistake

textiles

show examples

and fuel with 10 cubic meters.

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, other things like

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

,drinks,metal and paper were in the middle range in

this

case,

hence

, in

this

shown picture we can see the difference between

this

type of utilization on the ground and water

also

Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on Mon Sep 23 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words chemicals with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write at least 250 words.

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

some people believe that proffessionals, such as doctors and engenieers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People try to change their look by changing the colour of their hair using cosmetics, wearing jewellery or even having a plastic surgery done. Why do you think people do it? Do you think changing a look is a good thing.

You have recently missed a project deadline which resulted in your company losing an important client. Write a letter to your senior director. In your letter ● apologise for what happened •● explain why you missed the deadline •● tell him/her how you will avoid this situation in future.