Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is a debate that
university
scholars need solely
focus on learning their Fix the infinitive
to solely
courses
, whereas
others believe that learning additional study materials is necessary for campus students
. It seems to me that additional courses
are crucial for university
students
. This
essay, however
, will elaborate more on both sides.
On the one side, students
who give full-time to pay attention for
their degree subjects can achieve high grades. As they only study particular Change preposition
to
courses
in
most of the time, they will Change preposition
apply
able
to pass the exams easily. Add a missing verb
be able
Additionally
, by learning a certain field, it will leads
them to have specialization Change the verb form
lead
on
the subject. Change preposition
in
For example
, in order to be a lecturer in Indonesia, a fresh graduate needs to complete a postgraduate degree in the same fields as their undergraduate qualification. However
, this
will be a
difficult for some Change the article
apply
students
since being a lecturer needs
a high level of dedication Verb problem
requires
on
teaching.
On the other side, Change preposition
to
university
scholars who eager
to learn additional Add a missing verb
are eager
courses
will have benefit
Add an article
the benefit
a benefit
to improve
their values after graduation. As they educate themselves Change preposition
of improving
to
different topics in Change preposition
on
the
schooling, it will Correct article usage
apply
fosters
their knowledgeChange the verb form
foster
wider
. Correct word choice
apply
For instance
, job employers prefer to hire graduates who have more knowledge generally in order to look for adaptive employees. By studying more subjects, the students
are able to develop their understanding to
different issues Change preposition
of
in
one time. Change preposition
at
Hence
, it will be an additional bargain value to offer to the recruiters.
In conclusion, I personally believe that while
students
who learn a particular course are able to sharp
Replace the word
sharpen
on
certain Change preposition
apply
qualification
, Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
students
who want to learn extra subjects are more beneficial in terms of fostering different knowledges
and quality improvement to Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
fulfill
job vacancies.Change the spelling
fulfil
Submitted by chocolate10
on
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task response
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and expresses a clear opinion. However, to enhance the 'Task Response' score, consider providing more specific examples to support your points (e.g., mentioning the types of additional subjects that could be beneficial).
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is good, with clear paragraphs discussing each viewpoint. However, some sentences could be improved for better clarity. For instance, 'they will able to pass the exams easily' could be revised to 'they will be able to pass the exams more easily.'
introduction conclusion
Your introduction effectively sets up the debate and clearly indicates your opinion.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion is well-crafted, summarizing the main points and reinforcing your opinion.
supported main points
Each main point is supported with relevant examples and explanations, making your argument stronger.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?