Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?
It has been largely debated among people nowadays which one is better, to
wok
in an organisation or to be Correct your spelling
work
a
Correct article usage
apply
self- employed
and work from home. Correct your spelling
self-employed
However
,in this
essay
I will discuss both views and Add a comma
essay,
mentions
some of the disadvantages of being self-employed.
One of the cons of working alone is missing socializing with people during the normal day. Correct subject-verb agreement
mention
For example
, some individuals do marketing for some products in their home
, so with time they tend to like doing activities and some missions alone. Fix the agreement mistake
homes
Moreover
, one of the biggest risks of being self-employed is that the person depend
on themselves to do the job. Change the verb form
depends
For instance
, if the individual has an accident or has been sick so
the whole work will shut down during that time.
Correct word choice
apply
On the other hand
, working in a company with fixed
timeline everyday and contact with Correct article usage
a fixed
poeple
has many Correct your spelling
people
benifits
for the person Correct your spelling
benefits
such
as overlap
the challenges that happen in the Wrong verb form
overlapping
work place
. Correct your spelling
workplace
In addition
, having a clear path of
promotions in your career is reliving and Change preposition
to
encuraging
for the human mind. Another example, the studies Correct your spelling
encouraging
shows
that people who Change the verb form
show
interacte
with others and Correct your spelling
interact
interacted
facing
some struggles during their Wrong verb form
face
carees
will end up with a better and Correct your spelling
careers
career
stable
version of themselves.
Correct quantifier usage
more stable
Nevertheless
, although
that
being Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
self-employed has many advantages like having a break and vacation whenever the Change the article
apply
individuale
Correct your spelling
individual
individuals
decide
,it is difficult to manage the job solo and Correct subject-verb agreement
decides
being
isolated from the community most of the time.
Wrong verb form
be
To sum up
, working in company
with Add an article
a company
enthusiastic
environment has many Correct article usage
an enthusiastic
benfits
for the person than being Correct your spelling
benefits
abandend
at home and away from Correct your spelling
abandoned
every body
else.Correct your spelling
everybody
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Task Response
Consider revising the introduction to better frame the essay and clearly state the thesis. The phrase 'it has been largely debated' is not as precise as it could be. A clearer statement about why people choose self-employment would strengthen your argument.
Task Response
Ensure your main points are fully developed with more detailed examples and explanations. For example, the section on the risks of being self-employed could benefit from a deeper discussion about financial instability or other potential challenges.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve sentence structure and word choice to enhance clarity. For instance, instead of 'having a clear path of promotions in your career is reliving and encuraging for the human mind,' you could write 'having a clear career advancement path is both reassuring and motivating.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on paragraph transitions to make the essay flow more smoothly. Using phrases like 'furthermore' or 'on the contrary' could help to clearly show the relationships between paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid minor spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'wok' should be 'work,' 'benifits' should be 'benefits,' and 'struggles' should be 'struggles.' Using a spell checker can help catch these small mistakes.
Task Response
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages of self-employment and working in a company, satisfying the requirement to address both parts of the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion provide a clear start and end to the essay.
Task Response
The essay makes good use of specific examples, such as the risk of work stoppage due to illness, to illustrate points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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