Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?

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It has been largely debated among people nowadays which one is better, to
wok
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work
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in an organisation or to be
a
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apply
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self- employed
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self-employed
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and work from home.
However
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,in
this
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essay
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essay,
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I will discuss both views and
mentions
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mention
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some of the disadvantages of being self-employed. One of the cons of working alone is missing socializing with people during the normal day.
For example
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, some individuals do marketing for some products in their
home
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homes
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, so with time they tend to like doing activities and some missions alone.
Moreover
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, one of the biggest risks of being self-employed is that the person
depend
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depends
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on themselves to do the job.
For instance
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, if the individual has an accident or has been sick
so
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apply
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the whole work will shut down during that time.
On the other hand
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, working in a company with
fixed
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a fixed
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timeline everyday and contact with
poeple
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people
has many
benifits
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benefits
for the person
such
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as
overlap
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overlapping
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the challenges that happen in the
work place
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workplace
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.
In addition
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, having a clear path
of
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to
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promotions in your career is reliving and
encuraging
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encouraging
for the human mind. Another example, the studies
shows
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show
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that people who
interacte
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interact
interacted
with others and
facing
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face
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some struggles during their
carees
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careers
career
will end up with a better and
stable
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more stable
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version of themselves.
Nevertheless
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,
although
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that
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apply
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being
a
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apply
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self-employed has many advantages like having a break and vacation whenever the
individuale
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individual
individuals
decide
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decides
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,it is difficult to manage the job solo and
being
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be
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isolated from the community most of the time.
To sum up
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, working in
company
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a company
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with
enthusiastic
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an enthusiastic
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environment has many
benfits
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benefits
for the person than being
abandend
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abandoned
at home and away from
every body
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everybody
show examples
else.
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Task Response
Consider revising the introduction to better frame the essay and clearly state the thesis. The phrase 'it has been largely debated' is not as precise as it could be. A clearer statement about why people choose self-employment would strengthen your argument.
Task Response
Ensure your main points are fully developed with more detailed examples and explanations. For example, the section on the risks of being self-employed could benefit from a deeper discussion about financial instability or other potential challenges.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve sentence structure and word choice to enhance clarity. For instance, instead of 'having a clear path of promotions in your career is reliving and encuraging for the human mind,' you could write 'having a clear career advancement path is both reassuring and motivating.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on paragraph transitions to make the essay flow more smoothly. Using phrases like 'furthermore' or 'on the contrary' could help to clearly show the relationships between paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid minor spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'wok' should be 'work,' 'benifits' should be 'benefits,' and 'struggles' should be 'struggles.' Using a spell checker can help catch these small mistakes.
Task Response
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages of self-employment and working in a company, satisfying the requirement to address both parts of the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion provide a clear start and end to the essay.
Task Response
The essay makes good use of specific examples, such as the risk of work stoppage due to illness, to illustrate points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • entrepreneur
  • independence
  • opportunity
  • financial stability
  • set your own schedule
  • pursue your dreams
  • take risks
  • uncertainty
  • income stability
  • workload
  • taxes
  • marketing
  • client acquisition
  • job security
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