Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Others prefer to livewith their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you prefer? Use reasons and examples to support your answer

It is considered that ages eighteen to twenty-six years old preferred to live alone and be
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
from their parents, and some individuals think
otherwise
that children must live with their families until they get married. Based on my
preferene
Correct your spelling
preference
preferences
, I like more living independently because it provides an opportunity to learn
life
skills
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and become
emotional
Change the word
emotionally
show examples
ready.
To begin
with, living with your parents provides security and comfort,
however
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however,
show examples
it will be hard for you to be successful
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
your own
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because in the back of your
mind
Add a comma
mind,
show examples
there is somebody that can back you up every time you
failed
Wrong verb form
fail
show examples
.
Moreover
living on your own
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
having
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
freedom to decide like on your
foood
Correct your spelling
food
, and fashion style, yet you have a chance to discover
life
skills, like using public transportation,
manage
Wrong verb form
managing
show examples
your financials,
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
your own laundry,
prepare
Wrong verb form
preparing
show examples
your own
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
and many more.
Secondly
, living independently
mean
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means
show examples
you are
emotional
Change the adjective
emotionally
show examples
ready to face and accept all the challenges in
life
,
although
you might seek the comfort and support
your
Change preposition
of your
show examples
family during
this
time
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it will make you much stronger,
this
also
encourage
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encourages
show examples
you to form
wider
Add an article
a wider
show examples
social network. In conclusion, living away from your family provides self-developments and improvements in
life
,
while
living with parents
guarenteed
Correct your spelling
guarantees
support and comfort, but the former
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
gives a
life long
Correct your spelling
lifelong
show examples
leearning
Correct your spelling
learning
that you can use until you get old.
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame the main points.
task achievement
The arguments presented are relevant to the topic and demonstrate a good understanding of the subject matter.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • interdependence
  • financial burdens
  • emotional preparedness
  • proximity
  • individualism
  • family bonds
  • life skills
  • self-reliance
  • safety net
  • privacy
  • family support
  • cultural values
  • social network
  • diverse experiences
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