Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?
A group of
individials
adhere to the view that the essential part of being wealthy is assisting people and some of them don't agree with that idea. I partially support Correct your spelling
individuals
this
viewpoint and I will elaborate my arguments in following
paragraphs.
On the one hand, Correct article usage
the following
l
accept that individuals who have great financial resources help poor families or children because they ponder that protection
of society is crucial . Correct article usage
the protection
For example
, wealthy pupils may support charitable organisations such
as American
Correct article usage
the American
cancer charity
which assists sick humans. Correct your spelling
Cancer Charity
Furthermore
, some can fund education for making
their citizens knowledgeable. Another reason why Change preposition
to make
l
support the riches should pay for needed
persons is they feel more honour and valuable. Because sometimes making someone happy gives people a sense of fulfilment. Replace the word
needy
For instance
, the world's most prominent football player Christiano Ronaldo always says that l
try
to give a hand Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
pupils
with low conditions because it is the only reason Change preposition
to pupils
of
being delighted.
Change preposition
for
On the other hand
, it is also
true that some pupils don’t want to spend their income for
others. There are several reasons Change preposition
on
for example
, if someone wants to use their money on investments they can not purchase for the poors
because investments demand a lot of money. Correct your spelling
poor
Additionally
, it is feasible that some people do not consider one person enough for providing
money . Change preposition
to provide
For instance
, there are many civilians in Africa who suffer from absences and it is difficult to help everyone in there.
In conclusion, although
l
agree that wealthy citizens ought to assist lower
class Correct article usage
the lower
for
contributing Change preposition
in
civilisation
, Change preposition
to civilisation
l
also
hold a view that each individual has his or her own unique rights and they may not share their wealth with others.Submitted by nezerli.x12 on
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task response
To enhance task response, ensure addressing all parts of the prompt comprehensively. A bit more balance between arguments for and against the statement would be advantageous.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical structure to make your arguments more seamlessly connected. Clear transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs can help achieve this.
task response
Continue to develop your main points further with specific details and examples for higher clarity and comprehensiveness. Strengthen each argument with concrete evidence.
task response
Introduction clearly states the writer's stance and outlines what the essay will cover.
coherence and cohesion
Conclusion effectively summarizes the main points without introducing new ideas.
task response
Provided specific examples (e.g., Christiano Ronaldo and charitable organizations like American Cancer Charity) to support the arguments.