IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999.Summarize the informationby selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.Write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999.Summarize the informationby selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.Write at least 150 words.
#percentage #households #kinds #technology #informationby #features #comparisons
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The graph
demostrates
Correct your spelling
demonstrates
 the percentage of
households
utalization
Correct your spelling
utilization
 of several kinds of
technologies
 in
U.S.
Correct article usage
the U.S.
show examples
 between
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 1995 up to 1999.
firstly
, there are Five
differant
Correct your spelling
different
 lines showing the type of
technologies
 used by
households
 where are of these
technologies
showing
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
 up-trend throughout
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 1995 to 1999. the
technologies
 demonstrated in the chart
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
show examples
 washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
,
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
, internet and DVD players. the washing
machine
achived
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achieved
 the highest in usage among other
techologies
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technologies
due to
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 demand of need in cleaning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clothes which
illestrates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 80%
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1999
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to 1995 which scores 60%.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 example, the use of washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 in
such
 developed country is
essentional
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essential
 due
increase
Fix the infinitive
to increase
show examples
 in working hours among the
countly
Correct your spelling
country
county
.
on the other hand
, the trend
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dramaticly inreased
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dramatically increased
 in the
utalization
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utilization
 of phones from
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1998 to 1999
as a result
 of demanding
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 communication toward
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of the county. the other
techonoglies
Correct your spelling
technologies
showing
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 trend
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by an average of 10%
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
yearly
Correct article usage
a yearly
show examples
 basis,
this
including
Replace the word
includes
show examples
 the
households
Change noun form
household's
households'
show examples
 utalization of
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and DVD
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 because of
complexity
Correct article usage
the complexity
show examples
 of these
technologies
. in
conclution
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conclusion
,
washing
Correct article usage
the washing
show examples
machine
 is
achiving
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achieving
 the
highiest
Correct your spelling
highest
 contribtion and usage by
households
 among other
technologies
 which displays the required increase in availing
this
techology
Correct your spelling
technology
 across
U.S.
Correct article usage
the U.S.
show examples
 in every house and consider
such
 high demand for upcoming years toward elevate the quality of
households
Fix the agreement mistake
household
show examples
 life.
Submitted by reemo.r.s on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words households, technologies, machine with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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