The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?ء

Science
pursues to make better people's
lives
. The more
science
is improved, the better our
lives
are.
However
, Improving the level of
science
has not only good
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
but
also
bad
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
. We cannot neglect the both sides. The good
features
of improving change our lifestyle move beneficial. Every day, we can get information from devices, which are
pc
Correct your spelling
PCs
and
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
. So, we can decide our schedules smoothly, and communicate with other people easily. If there were
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
digital devices, it
takes
Wrong verb form
would take
show examples
a long time to do so.
Moreover
, we can ride car, bus and train. Without those vehicles, we have to go out
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
foot only. It is hard to move to other places.
On the contrary
,
science
has bad
features
for our
lives
. In the past, we had serious
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
caused by
growing
Add an article
a growing
the growing
show examples
level of
science
. There
were
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was
show examples
pollution of
liver
Correct article usage
the liver
show examples
, sea or lake, it caused the mortality of
sea food
Correct your spelling
seafood
show examples
,
furthermore
, people who ate that food got serious diseases. The reason why the pollution occurred is factories' disposals. Nowadays the law prohibits the pollution of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
, but there are still
danger
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dangers
show examples
of
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to
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our
lives
.
In addition
,
car
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cars
show examples
,
bus
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buses
show examples
or
train
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trains
show examples
emit CO₂ gas and it causes
a
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apply
show examples
global warming. CO₂ gas
decrease
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decreases
show examples
the thickness of
layer
Add an article
the layer
a layer
show examples
of
sky
Add an article
the sky
show examples
which
protect
Correct subject-verb agreement
protects
show examples
us from
sun
Add an article
the sun
show examples
, and it
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
show examples
our
Change the word
the
show examples
area where we can live. To decrease the amount of CO₂,
electric
Correct article usage
an electric
show examples
Car has
invented
Add a missing verb
been invented
show examples
, but we don't know the
features
of
this
new tool.
To sum up
, improving the
science
has two meanings. To
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
better our
lives
, we need to know
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
features
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
of disaster.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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task achievement
Be more specific with examples. For instance, you can name specific instances where science has improved people's lives and where it has caused harm. This will make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your ideas flow logically from one to the next. The sentence structure can sometimes be fragmented, which disrupts the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more detailed explanations of your points. This will not only help your arguments but also make your essay more comprehensive and persuasive.
task achievement
Good effort in presenting both sides of the argument, ensuring a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids reader understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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