IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph and pie chart below show band information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#line #show #band #information #crime #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons
The line graph illustrates the relationship between
age
 and
crime
last
 year in the UK,
while
 the pie chart shows the proportion of which type of
crime
 was committed
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same period.
Overall
, the most committed
crime
 in the UK was
violations
Fix the agreement mistake
violation
show examples
crime
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
under
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the total
crimes
 in the whole country by 46 per cent.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 mostly
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
happen
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
teenegers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 from
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
20
Change preposition
of 20
show examples
 to 24. Property and drug
crimes
 are similar in proportion with 23% and 22%.
While
 the least type of
crime
 committed was public order by only 9 per cent. In regard to the relationships between
age
 and
crime
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a dramatic increase in
crimes
 from
age
 12
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
zero, to reached 70
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand crimes
show examples
crime
 by
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 of 16.
However
, it reached its peak at
age
 21
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 more than 80 thousand
crimes
. Following that, it went down to nearly 20
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
crimes
 at
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 of 28.
Then
 it started to decrease slowly as the
age
 rates
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
.
Submitted by 361109698 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, crime, crimes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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