Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better for children than watching TV or playing computer games.’ To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Reading is a very good habit that one needs to develop in life. Good books can inform you, and lead you in the right direction.It
argue
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argues
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that books increase the creativity and imagination
for
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of
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children
than
catching
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watching
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a movie on
TV
or playing electronic games.I believe that stories can help
children
learn about important values , exercise their creative thinking ,support their cognitive development and improve their language skills. In fact,
book
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books
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play a significant role in
children
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children's
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life
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lives
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regarding knowledge ,
it
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they
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help them improve their skills and lead to
a successful achievements
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successful achievements
a successful achievement
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in school .
According to
a recent study from the American Academy of Pediatrics, reading aloud to your child from birth helps build key language, literacy and social skills.
Furthermore
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Reading requires focus and concentration which can improve attention for
children
.
Moreover
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Moreover,
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reading
enhance
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enhances
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the
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apply
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vocabulary expansion which supports the child in
writting
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writing
.As well, studies have shown that reading helps reduce stress because it requires concentration and focus.Researchers at
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the university
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university
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University
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of Sussex found that participants who read at least 6 minutes
everyday
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every day
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could reduce muscle tension and a slower heart rate.
While
TV
and computer games can be educational and social ,kids could enjoy watching a movie on screen and
listining
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listening
to someone speaking.They feel excited.
For
example
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example,
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there
are
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is
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some special
chanel
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channel
Chanel
tv
specialized for kids, it
help
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helps
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them
of improving
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to improve
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their spelling.
TV
shows can provide a social connection and reduce loneliness .But they often do not engage
children
as deeply as books do.
In addition
, some
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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computer games
are
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that are
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agressive
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aggressive
may
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and may
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aim
Verb problem
lead
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to exposure to aggressive
behavior
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behaviour
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,
as well as
nightmares.
To conclude
, reading
still
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is still
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the perfect
activitity
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activity
for kids,
its
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it
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help
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helps
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them to achieve their goals in their academic year,with reading
children
can develop their cognitive development and it could
facilitates
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facilitate
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their
desir
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desire
to sleep quickly.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and makes a clear argument in favor of reading over TV or computer games for children. However, you need to provide a more balanced view by discussing the potential benefits of TV and computer games more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion that summarizes your main points. Currently, the introduction is somewhat unclear, and the conclusion is too brief.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by organizing your paragraphs better. For instance, dedicate each paragraph to a specific benefit of reading or a drawback of TV/computer games. This will make your argument more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for clarity. Some sentences are too long and could be simplified for better understanding.
task achievement
The essay provides a variety of points supporting the argument that reading is beneficial for children. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
There are relevant and specific examples, such as the study from the American Academy of Pediatrics, that support your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
You explain how reading can benefit a child's language skills, cognitive development, and emotional well-being, which adds depth to your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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