The increase in the production of consumer consumption goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this and what can be done to solve this problem?
Nowadats
, there has been a dramatic increase in the number of demand and supply. Correct your spelling
Nowadays
Although
many people claim that
is
is beneficial as it makes our life easier, Correct your spelling
it
such
approach
can lead to Correct article usage
an approach
the
significant environmental Correct article usage
apply
damages
. Fortunately, being aware of its Fix the agreement mistake
damage
couses
we can find solutions to solve Correct your spelling
causes
courses
this
problem
.
Reasons for climate changes
resulting in mass consumption are very Fix the agreement mistake
change
diversified
. First and foremost, they are an effect of the pollution. Replace the word
diverse
Greenhouses
gases that Change the noun form
Greenhouse
are send
to Change the verb form
are sent
atmosphere
by global corporations Add an article
the atmosphere
as well as
toxic wastes throwing
away to the see contribute to Wrong verb form
thrown
destruction
of Add an article
the destruction
natural
environment by polluting Add an article
the natural
air
and water. Correct article usage
the air
Furthermore
, deforestation is another cause. In order to built
new factories a free space is needed; Change the form of the verb
build
as a
result
many trees are cut down to make Add a comma
result,
a
room for warehouses and places to work.
Correct article usage
apply
However
, there have been also
ways to prevent envronmental
Correct your spelling
environmental
damages
. The most significant of them is to Fix the agreement mistake
damage
rise
a global awareness of the Correct your spelling
raise
problem
. If people gain a wider knowledge of our harmful impact on the
nature, they will be more sensitive and, Correct article usage
apply
therefore
, a
less damage will be caused. Remove the article
apply
Additionaly
, a law should protect Correct your spelling
Additionally
environment
in a more complex way. The only way to stop climate Add an article
the environment
changes
is Fix the agreement mistake
change
a
cooperation between governments from all over the world, which means a more radical punishment for companies contributing to environmental Correct article usage
apply
damege
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
damage
factores
Correct your spelling
factors
such
as air and water pollution as well as
deforestation have a negative impact on environment
. Add an article
the environment
On the other hand
, rising
awareness of the Correct your spelling
raising
problem
and imposing a penalty for companies responsible for it,
is the way to solve the Remove the comma
apply
problem
.Submitted by kuba.glogowski on
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your ideas, which will help strengthen your points and make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas by refining your sentence structures and avoiding minor grammatical errors. This will make your essay easier to read and understand.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your key points are well supported with clear arguments. You have good ideas, but they could be elaborated more fully with additional details.
coherence cohesion
Work on the flow between paragraphs to ensure a smooth transition of ideas. This will help improve the logical structure and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
You have successfully identified and explained the main causes and solutions related to environmental damage due to consumer goods production.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, and the essay is, overall, easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example