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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major citites with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparison where relevant.

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major citites with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparison where relevant.
#data #railway #systems #six #citites #date #kilometres #route #passenger #numbers #year #millions #summarise #information #features #comparison
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The table gives information on subway systems in six leading cities with opening date, kilometres of route and the number of
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
 per year.
Overall
,
it is clear that
London
 stood first in terms of the number of
rout
Correct your spelling
routes
show examples
 and
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
due to
 its early opening date. It is noteworthy that
although
Los
 Angeles was opened after
Kyoto
,
Los
Angles
Correct your spelling
Angeles
show examples
 underground railways system passed more
kilometeres
Correct your spelling
kilometres
 and had more passengers as well.
London
 had the most ancient underground railways system which was opened about 138 years earlier than
Los
Angles
Correct your spelling
Angeles
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the newest
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Moreover
,
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 system had first rank in terms of
kilomteres
Correct your spelling
kilometres
 of rout which was about 195
kilometeres
Correct your spelling
kilometres
 more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 second rank Paris and 239
kilometeres
Correct your spelling
kilometres
 more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 Tokyo as third rank.
Kyoto
 had the lowest number of
kilometeres
Correct your spelling
kilometres
,
although
, it was opened about 20
yerars
Correct your spelling
years
 earlier than
Los
 Angeles. Despite the early opening date of
London
 Subways, Tokyo and Paris had more
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
 respectively 1927 and 1191.Notably,
although
Los
Angles
Correct your spelling
Angeles
show examples
 underground railways
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 opened about 20 years after
Kyoto
,
Los
Angles
Correct your spelling
Angeles
show examples
 subways carried about 5
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
 more than
Kyoto
 with 50
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
.
Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words passangers, london, los, kyoto, angles, kilometeres with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • underground railway systems
  • date opened
  • kilometres of route
  • passenger numbers per year
  • summarise
  • main features
  • comparison
  • relevant
  • oldest
  • recent additions
  • route length
  • network
  • transport
  • massive
  • annually
  • comparatively shorter
  • follows closely behind
  • lowest number
  • second highest
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