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Band 6.5

The chart below shows the promotions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010. Summarise and write the information in about 150 words making relevant comparisons

The chart below shows the promotions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010. Summarise and write the information in about 150 words making relevant comparisons
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A glance at the given pie charts depicts the percentages of Brits people who were
students
Use synonyms
 at the same university in England and
also
Linking Words
the
Correct your spelling
they
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 are able to speak other
languages
Use synonyms
 except
English
Use synonyms
 in 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, in both 2000 and 2010, the highest number of
students
Use synonyms
 could speak only Spanish other than
English
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest number of
students
Use synonyms
 could speak German as a second language in these specific years. Moving on to more details, a staggering 30% of the total
students
Use synonyms
 were educated only in Spanish in the year 2000. Not only do a negligible 10 % of
English
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 study two other
languages
Use synonyms
, but 10 % of
English
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 study only German in 2000. It is obvious that the highest level of proportion of British
students
Use synonyms
 study only Spanish
besides
Linking Words
English
Use synonyms
 in 2010 35%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
second,
Linking Words
in terms of the number of
students
Use synonyms
 who were able to speak
languages
Use synonyms
 other than
English
Use synonyms
, it was related to people who had the capability to speak two other
languages
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, languages, english with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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