IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email -Give detail of the purchase -Desribe the problem -Explain why you need a replacement urgently.

#purchase #company #email #-give #detail #-desribe #-explain #replacement
Dear Sir The purpose of inscribing
this
 missive is to raise a concern regarding the
product
 quality and
product
size
 of my recent purchase with your company. About the
product
 details, I bought two T-shirts and 3 pairs of denims
frem
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 the Daisy company with
product
 ID N275xx81 and one Jumpsuit
having
Change preposition
with having
show examples
 floral design and the order number was N72281. The major issue of
this
 purchase is the quality as it is not the same as mentioned.
Moreover
, I ordered
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 jumpsuit of medium
size
 but received it
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
size
, which is of no use to me.
Also
, when I washed the T-shirts
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 after one 
wash
Change the verb form
washes
show examples
 the colour got faint,
due to
 direct exposure to sunlight. I am regretting now, for my wrong purchase. I requested another
product
 for the jumpsuit of
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
size
 as I cannot wear it.
However
, for shirts; I know there will be no replacement because I already used those. I am expecting
this
 replacement as soon as possible because I want to wear it at my graduation party
this
 weekend. In anticipation, await for positive response. Yours Faithfully, Noah
Submitted by lakhykharoud.lk on

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coherence cohesion
While the overall logical structure is clear, improve the flow between paragraphs by using connecting phrases to ensure a seamless transition.
task achievement
Some errors in spelling and word usage are present. Review the text for spelling mistakes (e.g., 'frem' should be 'from') and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'I requested another product for the jumpsuit of right size').
task achievement
You’ve effectively given details about your purchase and described the problems in a clear manner.
coherence cohesion
The closing and polite request for a resolution are well articulated, maintaining a suitable tone consistently throughout the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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