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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey that sampled a cross section of travelers at a major metropolitan airport about the purpose of their trip. The survey was carried out during four different months in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey that sampled a cross section of travelers at a major metropolitan airport about the purpose of their trip. The survey was carried out during four different months in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart above depicts information about the
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
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 of one survey in 2022. The sample was
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 at a big metropolitan airport who asked to
given
Change the verb
give
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 the reason
of
Change preposition
for
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 their trip.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that business was dominating in March and September 2022,
while
Linking Words
 June and December 2022 were dominated by holiday
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there were as many as 72 per
cent
Use synonyms
 who go out for
business
Add an article
a business
the business
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 trip. Meanwhile, in June 2022, the workers who did business travel only around 29 per
cent
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. After that, the percentage
was increase
Change the verb form
increased
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up
Change preposition
apply
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to 53 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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 again to 34 per
cent
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.
Besides
Linking Words
, in March 2022, people who went
for
Change preposition
on
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 holiday were 18 per
cent
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. Following that, the total number sharply jump to 54 per
cent
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.
Next,
Linking Words
significantly slump until
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
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 31 per
cent
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.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the year, the percentage was about 35 per
cent
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people who visited their family were approximately 6 per
cent
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 until December 2022, the number
was continuously fluctuated
Change to the active voice
continuously fluctuated
has continuously fluctuated
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.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the percentage of other reasons was very small and
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintained
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 below 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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