Fast-paced modern lifestyles have led to people eating more and more fast food at the expense of more traditional meals. Do the advantages of eating more fast food outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, the
energy
problem is very important, so we will all have responsibility
for save
Replace the word
saving
energy
. I less agree
saving energy
is the responsibility
of the government
.
To begin
with, the government
have a responsibility
to save energy
. In the world
now is
not have a Verb problem
we do
lot
of energy
to give us use
, then
it will affect our life in the future such
as we can not cook or the car can not move, so the government
need to do something to save energy
such
as to teach all people
use
less Add the particle
to use
energy
and to find some new energy
such
as use
water or the sun
to make energy
. If government
Correct article usage
the government
use
sun
and water to make energy
it can save energy
and let humans can
have Verb problem
apply
energy
to use
and it is also
good for the nerment
.
Correct your spelling
environment
Moreover
, if just the government
saves energy
then
it will be slow, so people
who live in the world
also
have the responsibility
to save energy
. People
can use
less energy
at home for example
they turn off things they don't use
. Also
, people
can put a product that can use
sun's
heat to make Correct article usage
the sun's
energy
outside their home to help government
make new Correct article usage
the government
energy
and save energy
.
In addition
, at school teachers can teach the students
what the effect on us and the world
about
using a Change preposition
of
lot
of energy
. It can let students
know Correct article usage
the important
important
of saving Replace the word
importance
energy
, teach students
to use
less energy
and more new reused energy
such
as sun
or water and what they can do to save energy
for example
when children go outside with their family can sit on the bus or MTR do not drive the car for themselves. When a lot
of people
do this
, that decreases using a lot
of energy
. At school teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
teaches
Correct subject-verb agreement
teach
students
to talk to their dad and mum, they
do it together, Correct word choice
and they
then
it can save a lot
of energy
.
To conclude
, saving energy
is not the responsibility
of the government
, all humans who live in the world
do together can save energy
quickly.Submitted by asllchkied on
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task response
Try to start with a clearer introduction that directly states your stance on the topic. For instance, whether you agree or disagree with the statement should be made clear from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed in the essay briefly before presenting your final opinion.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance clarity, ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and connect the ideas using transitional words such as 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' and 'Therefore.'
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, elaborate on how using solar panels can save energy or how government policies could promote energy conservation.
task response
The essay addresses the topic and covers several relevant points related to energy conservation responsibilities.
coherence and cohesion
The discussion is logically structured with separate paragraphs for government responsibility, individual responsibility, and the role of education.
task response
The examples provided are relevant, such as the use of solar and water energy as alternatives and practical tips for saving energy at home.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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