the charts below show the number and types of books bought by men and women and four different age groups in the uk

the charts below show the number and types of books bought by men and women and four different age groups in the uk
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the charts below show the number and types of books bought by men and women and four different age groups in the uk
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The bar chart compares the appliances that UK
females
Use synonyms
and males bought in 2013. Generally, the thing that both genders found most in demand was a wireless
home
Use synonyms
audio system.
Although
Linking Words
men mostly preferred the previous good,
females
Use synonyms
spent most of their money on buying
security
Use synonyms
cameras. Going into details, the least popular gadget for women was the outdoor speaker system, with a proportion just under 20%,
while
Linking Words
security
Use synonyms
cameras had 90% of all purchases. Programmable thermostats
as well as
Linking Words
wireless
home
Use synonyms
security
Use synonyms
were
similarly
Linking Words
treated by
females
Use synonyms
, reaching just over 60%. Regarding males, it was a wireless
home
Use synonyms
audio system, with a proportion of almost 80%, the most attractive appliance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, not only did energy management systems but
also
Linking Words
home
Use synonyms
movie theatres were in favour, having about 55%.
In contrast
Linking Words
to women, men were almost indifferent to
security
Use synonyms
cameras, as it figure was approximately 23%, showing the lowest result.
Overall
Linking Words
, the given chart displays that in the UK,
females
Use synonyms
were mostly focused on safety gadgets, meanwhile males had the highest proportion of things for entertainment.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words females, home, security with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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