Many people believe that playing video games is a waste of time and can even have a negative effect on the health of players. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Nowadays we facing
era
of technology, Add an article
an era
the era
many
Correct word choice
and many
people
believe that playing computer
games
have
a negative impact on the Correct subject-verb agreement
has
players
Change to a genitive case
player's
players'
health
. Whereas
others do not agree. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the nation due to
several factors. This
essay will discussing
the issues Change the verb form
discuss
be discussing
come
with Correct pronoun usage
that come
video
games
.
To begin
with, video
games
plays
a significant role Correct subject-verb agreement
play
on
Change preposition
in
gamers
medical Change noun form
gamers'
gamer's
health
. Moreover
, spending a long time
period have
an adverse effect on Wrong verb form
has
players
medical Change noun form
players'
player's
health
. In addition
, the new smartphones and computer
games
have an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
artifical
lighting systems which are able to Correct your spelling
artificial
effect
their medical Correct your spelling
affect
health
. Furthermore
, players are highly exposed to the lighting systems which can resulting eye problems and headache
. Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
Nevertheless
, people
spending long
Change the article
a long
time
with video
games
are expressing a sedentary lifestyles
and Correct the article-noun agreement
a sedentary lifestyle
sedentary lifestyles
increase
the percentage of obesity. A recent study proves that Wrong verb form
increasing
people
who spend more than 3 hours on computer
games
are suffering of
obesity problems.
On the Change preposition
from
others
hand, Correct quantifier usage
other
video
games
palys
a significant role Correct your spelling
play
on
Change preposition
in
people
communication skills. Change noun form
people's
Furthermore
, spending a long time
on video
games
show
a huge impact on Verb problem
has
people
behaviour. Change noun form
people's
In addition
, it decreasing
the number of Wrong verb form
decreases
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
conversation
resulting Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
on
lowering the interaction skills. Change preposition
in
In addition
, it kept them isolated and affect
their ability Wrong verb form
affected
on
Change preposition
to
comunication
. Correct your spelling
communication
Moreover
, the addiction to computer
games
contributes to many bad habits .
To conclude
, it is argued playing vedio
Correct your spelling
video
games
is a waste of time
and have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
impaction
.In my opinion, I completely agree Replace the word
impact
due to
the affect
on Replace the word
effect
gamers
medical Change noun form
gamers'
gamer's
health
and the lack of communication skills.Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to minimize language errors and to enhance the readability and fluency of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which gives a complete response to the question.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument and provided your own opinion, which enhances the comprehensiveness of your response.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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