Many people believe that playing video games is a waste of time and can even have a negative effect on the health of players. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays we facing
era
Add an article
an era
the era
show examples
of technology,
many
Correct word choice
and many
show examples
people
believe that playing
computer
games
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a negative impact on the
players
Change to a genitive case
player's
players'
show examples
health
.
Whereas
others do not agree. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the nation
due to
several factors.
This
essay will
discussing
Change the verb form
discuss
be discussing
show examples
the issues
come
Correct pronoun usage
that come
show examples
with
video
games
.
To begin
with,
video
games
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
a significant role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
gamers
Change noun form
gamers'
gamer's
show examples
medical
health
.
Moreover
, spending a long
time
period have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
an adverse effect on
players
Change noun form
players'
player's
show examples
medical
health
.
In addition
, the new smartphones and
computer
games
have
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
artifical
Correct your spelling
artificial
lighting systems which are able to
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
their medical
health
.
Furthermore
, players are highly exposed to the lighting systems which can resulting eye problems and
headache
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
show examples
.
Nevertheless
,
people
spending
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
with
video
games
are expressing
a sedentary lifestyles
Correct the article-noun agreement
a sedentary lifestyle
sedentary lifestyles
show examples
and
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
the percentage of obesity. A recent study proves that
people
who spend more than 3 hours on
computer
games
are suffering
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
obesity problems. On the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
hand,
video
games
palys
Correct your spelling
play
a significant role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
communication skills.
Furthermore
, spending a long
time
on
video
games
show
Verb problem
has
show examples
a huge impact on
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
behaviour.
In addition
, it
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreases
show examples
the number of
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
resulting
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
lowering the interaction skills.
In addition
, it kept them isolated and
affect
Wrong verb form
affected
show examples
their ability
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
.
Moreover
, the addiction to
computer
games
contributes to many bad habits .
To conclude
, it is argued playing
vedio
Correct your spelling
video
games
is a waste of
time
and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
impaction
Replace the word
impact
show examples
.In my opinion, I completely agree
due to
the
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
on
gamers
Change noun form
gamers'
gamer's
show examples
medical
health
and the lack of communication skills.
Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on

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coherence cohesion
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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tangible outcomes
  • excessive screen time
  • eye strain
  • poor posture
  • repetitive strain injuries
  • prolonged exposure
  • violent or addictive video games
  • increased aggression
  • social withdrawal
  • hand-eye coordination
  • strategic thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • social interaction
  • sense of community
  • multiplayer games
  • emotional well-being
  • stress relief
  • mental relaxation
  • unwind
  • escape from daily pressures
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