IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shop that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shop that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph illustrates the changes
on
Change preposition
in
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 the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
 that closed and opened. In 2011, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Change to a plural noun
shops
show examples
 newly opened was much higher about 2000, but it dropped to under 4000. After 2011, the
number
Use synonyms
 of closed
shops
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
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 shown higher than opening
shops
Use synonyms
 from 2012 to 2014.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 it fell back to under 1000. It appeared the lowest figure on the graph during the period. Closed
shops
Use synonyms
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
risen
rise
 steadily after 2015, so that the
number
Use synonyms
 of them exceeded the
number
Use synonyms
 of opening
shops
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. The difference between opening and closed
shops
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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exists, but the
number
Use synonyms
 of closed
shops
Use synonyms
 remained greater from 2016 to 2018.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • peak
  • decline
  • fluctuation
  • correlation
  • inverse relationship
  • notable
  • comparable
  • speculate
  • external factors
  • increment
  • decrement
  • overall
  • composite
  • linear
  • net gain
  • net loss
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