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Writing Samples
Band 3

The diagram illustrates the proportions of students in Britain who have the ability to speak other languages in addition to English from 2000 to 2010.

The diagram illustrates the proportions of students in Britain who have the ability to speak other languages in addition to English from 2000 to 2010.
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The
chrts
Correct your spelling
charts
chart
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 the amount of British
students
Use synonyms
 in a university being able to speak
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
 except
English
Use synonyms
 in 2000 and 2010 respectively. In summary, the number of
students
Use synonyms
 who can speak
Spanish
Use synonyms
 is the
hightest
Correct your spelling
highest
 of all time over the decades,
while
Linking Words
 more
students
Use synonyms
 tend to be able to use language other than
English
Use synonyms
 to communicate. In 2000, one-third of British
students
Use synonyms
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 speak only
English
Use synonyms
 and
Spanish
Use synonyms
. Followed by only
french
Capitalize word
French
show examples
 and other languages with 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
, 1-in-5
students
Use synonyms
 only know
English
Use synonyms
 but no other languages. When it comes to 2010, the percentage of
studentwho
Correct your spelling
students who
knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
show examples
 only
English
Use synonyms
 and
Spanish
Use synonyms
 has
sightly
Correct your spelling
slightly
show examples
 increased to 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 who only know
English
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
fall
Change the verb form
fallen
show examples
 from 2-in-10 to 1-in-10
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 when
compaired
Correct your spelling
compared
 to the number of
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
 in 2000.
Also
Linking Words
, a fifth of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 are able to speak
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 other than German,
Spanish
Use synonyms
 or French.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, english, spanish with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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