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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in UK between 1971 and 2001. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.

The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in UK between 1971 and 2001. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.
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The above two pie charts
demonstrates
Change the verb form
demonstrate
show examples
 a comparison of changes
Correct pronoun usage
that occured
show examples
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 spending habits between the years 1971 and 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most significant feature is the percentage of citizens
Correct pronoun usage
who prefered
show examples
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 food was 44% in 1971
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is the highest
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
.
In addition
Linking Words
 , the
number
Use synonyms
 started to decline to 14% in 2001.
While
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 who showed
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
 interest in 2001 had the strongest percentage which is 43%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
cars
Correct article usage
the cars
show examples
 habits score showed
dramaticaly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 increased from 22% to 43%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 spending their time with books
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
6% in1971
then
Linking Words
 started to
decreased
Change the form of the verb
decrease
show examples
 gradually to 1% in 2001 .
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 spending their time on
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 showed
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 raising in
number
Use synonyms
 from 2% to 12%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage of citizens
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 furniture habits exhibited
approximetaly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 similar
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
 between the range
8
Change preposition
of 8
show examples
% and 9%. Related
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who used to go to
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurants
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 steady growth in
number
Use synonyms
 from 7% in 1971 to 14% in 2001.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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