Some people believe school children should be given multiple short vacations, while others believe they should get one long vacation. Give the advantages of both and express your own point of view.

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It is argued if
childeren
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children
should be given short multiple
vacations
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or just one long period
vacation
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. People have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
opinion
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opinions
show examples
with
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about
show examples
this
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nation some believe
whereas
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
do not.
This
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essay will discuss the pros of both ideas.
To begin
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with,
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
short period
vacations
Use synonyms
for several
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
play a significant role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
psyches.
Morever
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Moreover
, if
children
Use synonyms
stayed
Wrong verb form
stay
show examples
for a long time
with
Change preposition
under
show examples
school pressure and homework strains can highly affect their ability to understand a new lesson or subject.
However
Linking Words
, exposed to multiple breaks will
enhanace
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enhance
the capability of getting new information and improve the education level.
In addition
Linking Words
, students can refresh themselves and
stayed
Change the verb form
stay
show examples
motivated
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the whole semester. A recent study
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
showed that
childrent
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children
who are taking
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
multiple
vacations
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at
shcool
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school
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
passionated
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then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, expressing a one long
Use synonyms
vacations
Fix the agreement mistake
vacation
show examples
showing
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
an essential impact on
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
talenet
Correct your spelling
talent
.
Furthermore
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, long
vacations
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allows
Change the verb form
allow
show examples
children
Use synonyms
to enjoy their time
on
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apply
show examples
practiseing
Correct your spelling
practising
their hobbies.
In addition
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,
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
can join a summer camp and
learening
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learning
a now crucial habits
Correct the article-noun agreement
now crucial habits
a now crucial habit
show examples
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
this
Linking Words
long
vacation
Use synonyms
.
However
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, they can
reliase
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relieve
their interest and work on improving their hobbies.
Otherwhies
Correct your spelling
Otherwise
,
children
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are unable to
emphases on
Correct your spelling
emphasise
show examples
their interest with all school
presurre
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pressure
and
homeworks
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homework
.
To conclude
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, it is a
contraversial
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controversial
topic
while
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people have a different mentality. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
both nations have a good
impcat
Correct your spelling
impact
on
childrent
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children
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
expressing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
long
Use synonyms
vacation
Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
show examples
can help
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
hobbies progression.
However
Linking Words
, getting a short
repatitive
Correct your spelling
repetitive
vacation
Use synonyms
perevent shcool
Correct your spelling
prevents school
burnout and
Correct article usage
a mesirable
show examples
mesirable
Correct your spelling
miserable
life.
Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on

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task achievement
To improve your essay, focus on developing your ideas with more examples and evidence to support your points. Providing specific instances or research findings can make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on your sentence structure and grammar. Pay attention to correct usage of verbs, articles, and sentence flow. This will improve readability and make your argument clearer.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which is a good foundation for a balanced essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a basic structure for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consistently
  • frequent intervals
  • preventing burnout
  • information retention
  • consolidate knowledge
  • short getaways
  • strengthening family bonds
  • comprehensive rest
  • unwind
  • mental and emotional recharging
  • structured planning
  • extensive trips
  • academic projects
  • internships
  • continuity
  • in-depth understanding
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