Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In recent decades, many
people
prefer to start their own businesses and
work
for themselves rather than working for other companies. There are numerous reasons for
this
preferance
Correct your spelling
preference
which will be discussed in
this
essay. The main reason why
people
choose to be self-employed is that self-employment
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
them more freedom, allowing them to manage their time
accordingly
.
For example
, moms can
manupulate
Correct your spelling
manipulate
their working hours, allocating more time to their children's needs.
Furthermore
, the effort
people
put
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
developing a start-up would benefit themselves and help their own businesses to thrive. It is not satisfactory to
work
for another person's company development.
Moreover
, some individuals don't like to
work
under the control of other
people
. Some others don't want to be in touch with aggressive
people
at
work
. In
another words
Replace the adjective
another word
other words
show examples
, some simply try to avoid toxic bosses or colleagues. In
this
way, they can experience more peaceful lives by being self-employed.
Although
self-employment is a rising trend for several reasons, it
carried
Wrong verb form
carries
show examples
a number of disadvantages as well.
Firstly
,
self-emploument
Correct your spelling
self-employment
may not secure a decent salary for most
people
. because small businesses don't make so much money.
Therefore
, those who are new in the world of marketing may
failed
Change the verb form
fail
show examples
to afford a reasonable life in the beginning.
In addition
, running your own company needs hard
work
and resilience, as it is a daunting task to collect credibility in a competitive market. In conclusion, self-employment may be an enchanting idea, as it holds so many advantages like more freedom in planning your own
schadule
Correct your spelling
schedule
, trying for your own companies and avoiding
bad-tempared
Correct your spelling
bad-tempered
co-workers and bosses. But, it still can have its disadvantages
such
as low income and requiring hard
work
and patience.
Submitted by ava.saljoughi on

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task achievement
Ensure to proofread for minor spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, the word 'preference' is misspelled as 'preferance'.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to substantiate your points. For example, when discussing the flexibility for moms, include a concrete scenario to make the argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining sentence structure to avoid any awkward phrasing and to ensure clarity, such as 'self-employment provide them more freedom,' which should be 'self-employment provides them more freedom.'
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to better guide the reader through the essay. Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next with coherent linking words or phrases.
task achievement
The essay begins with a clear introduction that sets the premise and offers a concise overview of the discussion points.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of the essay, tying the discussion back to the question presented.
coherence cohesion
The main points presented are relevant to the question and are generally well-explained.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, with clear introductions and conclusions in each paragraph.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
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