Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
In recent decades, many
people
prefer to start their own businesses and work
for themselves rather than working for other companies. There are numerous reasons for this
preferance
which will be discussed in Correct your spelling
preference
this
essay.
The main reason why people
choose to be self-employed is that self-employment provide
them more freedom, allowing them to manage their time Change the verb form
provides
accordingly
. For example
, moms can manupulate
their working hours, allocating more time to their children's needs. Correct your spelling
manipulate
Furthermore
, the effort people
put in
developing a start-up would benefit themselves and help their own businesses to thrive. It is not satisfactory to Change preposition
into
work
for another person's company development. Moreover
, some individuals don't like to work
under the control of other people
. Some others don't want to be in touch with aggressive people
at work
. In another words
, some simply try to avoid toxic bosses or colleagues. In Replace the adjective
another word
other words
this
way, they can experience more peaceful lives by being self-employed.
Although
self-employment is a rising trend for several reasons, it carried
a number of disadvantages as well. Wrong verb form
carries
Firstly
, self-emploument
may not secure a decent salary for most Correct your spelling
self-employment
people
. because small businesses don't make so much money. Therefore
, those who are new in the world of marketing may failed
to afford a reasonable life in the beginning. Change the verb form
fail
In addition
, running your own company needs hard work
and resilience, as it is a daunting task to collect credibility in a competitive market.
In conclusion, self-employment may be an enchanting idea, as it holds so many advantages like more freedom in planning your own schadule
, trying for your own companies and avoiding Correct your spelling
schedule
bad-tempared
co-workers and bosses. But, it still can have its disadvantages Correct your spelling
bad-tempered
such
as low income and requiring hard work
and patience.Submitted by ava.saljoughi on
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task achievement
Ensure to proofread for minor spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, the word 'preference' is misspelled as 'preferance'.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to substantiate your points. For example, when discussing the flexibility for moms, include a concrete scenario to make the argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining sentence structure to avoid any awkward phrasing and to ensure clarity, such as 'self-employment provide them more freedom,' which should be 'self-employment provides them more freedom.'
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to better guide the reader through the essay. Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next with coherent linking words or phrases.
task achievement
The essay begins with a clear introduction that sets the premise and offers a concise overview of the discussion points.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of the essay, tying the discussion back to the question presented.
coherence cohesion
The main points presented are relevant to the question and are generally well-explained.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, with clear introductions and conclusions in each paragraph.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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