IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

THLINE GRAFT SHOWS THE LEVEL OF SATISFACTION OF HEALTH CARE SYSTEM IN FOUR COUNTRIES IN THREE YEARS

The line graph illustrates the level of satisfaction with the healthcare system among different four countries over three years.
Overall
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, it is readily noticeable that satisfaction with healthcare in the United States remained at the same level over the three years.
While
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 Canada fluctuated and witnessed of sharp fall and rise.
According to
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 the chart, the level of satisfaction with healthcare among nations started at 59% and
then
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 steadily declined until reached just under 20%,
then
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 experienced an increase again roughly to 40%.
In contrast
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, the United States remained unchanged over three years. Regarding other countries, the United Kingdom fluctuated between 49% and 47% and has stayed continuously unchanged. The Netherlands witnessed a slight rise of approximately 8%.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction phrase properly summarizes the data representation. For example, use 'The line graph illustrates the level of satisfaction with the healthcare system in four different countries (the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and the Netherlands) over three years.'
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear conclusion to your essay, summarizing the overall trends observed in the data.
coherence cohesion
Organize the content in paragraphs where each one covers a specific aspect or trend. For example, describe the trends in two countries in the first paragraph and the other two countries in the second paragraph.
task achievement
Support statements with specific data from the graph more consistently. For example, include actual percentage figures when describing the change over time for each country.
task achievement
The text demonstrates a good attempt at summarizing the trends observed in the line graph.
coherence cohesion
There are clear comparisons made between different countries.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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