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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table shows the total expenditure of the British corps, in millions of pounds sterling, sourced from
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
 government, local taxes, and other sources between 2017 and 2018,
while
Linking Words
 the three pie charts illustrate the proportion of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on salaries, technology, buildings and transport in the same years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the information provided shows an upward trend for the budget allocated
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the local government, local taxes, and other sources over the years.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on technology has experienced a noticeable increase in 2017.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the expenses on buildings and transport
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 a decline in the same year. Between 2017 and 2018, the
money
Use synonyms
 allocated for the police needs shows an increase, the local government increased the support from 175.5m to 177.8m, the
money
Use synonyms
 taken from local taxes was increased from 91.2m to 102.3m, and other sources
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
from 38m to 38.5m.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2018 the expenditure on salaries of the police remained steady which is 17%,
while
Linking Words
 the budget spent on technology showed a sharp increase from 8% to 14%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the allocation for buildings and transport decreased
as
Change preposition
by as
show examples
 much as 6%.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
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