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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The above
two
Use synonyms
 pie
chart
Fix the agreement mistake
charts
show examples
 demonstrates the percentage of British students who are capable
to speak
Change preposition
of speaking
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
languages
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to English at one university in
Englant
Correct your spelling
England
 in 2000
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, The most significant feature is the proportion of students only speaking
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
show examples
contribute
Wrong verb form
contributed
show examples
 the highest amount in the
two
Use synonyms
 years where it
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 30% in 2000 and slightly grew to 35% in 2010.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the percentage of
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 are able to speak
Germany
Replace the word
German
show examples
 only and
two
Use synonyms
 other
languages
Use synonyms
 remained stable
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10%.
In addition
Linking Words
, The number of
studentss
Correct your spelling
students
 who spoke French only shows dramatically decreased from 15% in 2000 to 10% in 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
, The score of no other
languages
Use synonyms
 sharply increased in 2010 to 20%.
However
Linking Words
,in 2000 the strongest proportion was related to
Spanich
Correct your spelling
Spanish
while
Linking Words
 Germany and
two
Use synonyms
 other
languages
Use synonyms
 received the weakest rate.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 2010 exhibited
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
patteren
Correct your spelling
pattern
patterns
while
Linking Words
Spanich
Correct your spelling
Spanish
 was the highest percentage and French, Germany,
two
Use synonyms
 other
languages
Use synonyms
 and no other language had
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
 score
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 10%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words two, languages with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • additional languages
  • proficiency
  • decade
  • trends in language learning
  • globalization
  • cultural shifts
  • inferred
  • shifted
  • popularity
  • decrease/increase in speakers
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