IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table shows the proportion of people in England who agree with same-sex marriage from 1989 to 2013.. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#proportion #people #england #same-sex #marriage #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The chart depicts the
percentage
 of England citizens who
accept
Wrong verb form
accepted
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
same-gender
marriage
 between 1989 to 2013 based on five different types of
religion
.
Overall
, it is evident that the rate of individuals who agree with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
homosexual
marriage
 across all
religion
Replace the word
religious
show examples
 groups showed an upward trend throughout the
period
. In 1989, there was a similar
percentage
 in the
religion
Replace the word
religious
show examples
 groups of Church of England, Roman
Chatolic
Correct your spelling
Catholic
, and Other
Christian
Fix the agreement mistake
Christians
show examples
, the rate of individuals who confirmed positively to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
same-sex
marriage
 was only 9%.
Then
, all these proportions grew significantly to more than 30% by 2007. The numbers rose to more than 51% by 2013, with Roman Catholic's
percentage
climbed
Wrong verb form
climbing
show examples
 to more than 60% of their total followers who agree with the same-gender
marriage
 concept. On the other side,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
Non-Christian
Correct your spelling
non-Christian
show examples
 people disagreed with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
same-sex
marriage
 in 1989, amounting to only 5%.
This
 number,
however
, gradually climbed to 19% by 2007 and reached 30% by the end of the
period
.
Conversely
, there was 20% of
No-
Correct article usage
the No-Religion
show examples
Religion
 group of people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
accepted
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
homosexual
marriage
 in the first
period
 of time. It
kept
Verb problem
apply
show examples
rose to more than half by 2001 and peaked at 77% by 2013, making it the highest
percentage
 across all
religion
Replace the word
religious
show examples
 groups throughout the
period
.
Submitted by chocolate10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, marriage, religion, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: